Free I, Saul by Jerry B. Jenkins

think I would have fallen in love with a man like that?”
    â€œI never remember his being any different.”
    â€œI’m sorry, August. I hope I never made you feel like that.”
    â€œAre you kidding? If it hadn’t been for you ….”
    â€œI fell in love with his mind,” she said. “Once he got a verse or a passage or a doctrine in his head, he could recite it, explain it, defend it, whatever anyone wanted. In class I sat in the front row so I could get a good look at him and hear every word.”
    â€œYou’re the only student I’ve ever heard say they could stand to listen to him at all.”
    She smiled knowingly. “His presentation was dry, but there was a treasure trove of information there.”
    â€œYou didn’t sit in front so he’d notice you?”
    â€œMaybe. And he did. But he didn’t speak to me until graduation when he couldn’t get in trouble for fraternizing.” She chuckled. “The first thing he ever said to me was that I had wasted my time getting a seminary degree.”
    â€œBecause you’re a woman.”
    â€œExactly. I told him I had no intention of becoming a pastor, that I just wanted to be trained for whatever God called me to. But he just said I now had way too good an education for a Sunday school teacher. I could have slapped him.”
    â€œYeah, that sounds like you.”
    â€œI just laughed and told him maybe I’d marry a seminary grad and be able to hold my own. I had no idea my calling would be to be his wife.”
    Augie suddenly felt claustrophobic and stood, moving toward the door.
    â€œI’d rather not leave him, August.”
    â€œHe’s fine. Look at the readouts. We’ll be gone just long enough to get a bite.”
    He walked her down to the cafeteria and they talked as they ate.
    â€œI’ve never met anyone like Dad,” Augie said. “Other kids’ fathers had fun with their children. I mean, I’m grateful he wasn’t an alcoholic or an abuser. But I swear, I never saw him smile. Did you?”
    Mrs. Knox looked away as if trying to remember. “When we were dating he had plans, dreams. He would smile when he talked about teaching at Dallas or Southwestern someday.”
    â€œWhat? My whole life I never heard him say word one about either of those places without a smirk or a scowl. He
wanted
to teach there?”

    Marie fell silent. Finally, when she had finished eating, she said softly, “I can’t tell you the number of times he applied to each. He couldn’t figure out why he never even got an interview, and it embittered him. But I knew.”
    â€œYou did?”
    She nodded. “I shouldn’t say, August. I don’t want to be disloyal.”
    â€œYou can tell me.”
    â€œHe doesn’t know that I know.”
    â€œHow many times did Dad apply to Dallas or Southwest, really?” he said, following her to the elevator.
    â€œAlmost every year for many years, as recently as last year. He thought it would lend him some credibility,
gravitas
he called it.”
    â€œHe had all the gravitas he needed.”
    â€œYour father wanted to be legitimatized, August.”
    Augie shook his head. “I never got the impression he cared what anyone thought.”
    His mother shot him a glance as they exited the elevator. She put a finger to her lips as she opened his father’s door. “We’re back, sweetie,” she said, laying a hand on the man’s shoulder. “Augustine and I will be right outside.”
    In the hall she said, “August, the longer he went without respect, the darker his moods became. It was him against the world.”
    â€œSo why did he never get a nibble from the other schools?”
    Marie looked up and down the corridor and whispered, “He had me check the mail every day for a letter from Dallas. I called him as soon as it arrived, and he insisted I read it to him over