Free Daughter of Chaos by Jen McConnel Page B

has gone spinning out of control.”
    “You can’t control chaos.” Justin was quiet, but his words were powerful. I paused for a second, considering.
    “I don’t really understand it all yet, but I think you—I mean I—can. I think Red magic exists to shape the chaos that happens. There will be chaos in the world no matter what; it’s a primal force, and we can’t ignore it.”
    Justin nodded thoughtfully, but I could tell he wasn’t sold. I sighed. I hadn’t wanted to tell him what had happened that morning, but he needed some kind of proof that what I said was true.
    “Red Witches might not control it, not fully, but they can manipulate it.” I told him about the car and everything Hecate, Pele, and Persephone had said to me. Then I told him about the writing in my book. His eyebrows drew together and he looked worried.
    There was a long silence as he digested what I had said. I fiddled with my sleeves, worried that I’d said too much. Mom hadn’t been freaked out, but what if Justin hated who I’d become? I watched him nervously.
    When he finally spoke, his words surprised me. “Why are you here, Darlena? Don’t you tell Rochelle everything? She’s the one who taught you to hex, so why isn’t she helping you deal with this?”
    I shook my head. “I trust Rochelle, but … ” I struggled to put my fears into words. “She’s a Black. I don’t know if she’s declared or not yet, but there’s no other path for her. I want to learn to control my magic, to filter out harm, and I don’t think Rochelle would … ”
    “ … be cool with that,” Justin finished for me as I trailed off, and I nodded, relieved that the words came from him. I hated thinking ill of my best friend, but something in my gut told me that she wouldn’t be too concerned with controlling chaos. Even so, that wasn’t the real reason I’d come to Justin. I kept hoping he’d open his arms and embrace me, but he was staying a careful distance away. Still, any help would be better than none, so I waited for him to think about everything I’d said.
    He stared at me for a long minute. “If this is all true”—I heard the slight emphasis he put on the word “if” and had to fight down my anger—“you are really dangerous.”
    I jerked my head, but his eyes were smiling. Maybe he was just trying to tease me, but his words were true. I was dangerous, and I hated it.
    “I don’t want to be a pawn. These goddesses have already started messing with me, and I don’t want to give Pele victims or stir things up for Hecate. Red magic may be primal and under their control, but I’m not, right?” My voice cracked with emotion, but I didn’t care. I wanted Justin to tell me that I wasn’t trapped. If he said I could handle this mess, I’d believe him.
    Justin stared at me for a long moment before he answered. “Energy is never good or evil; it just is.”
    I nodded eagerly. I had been thinking the same thing, and I hoped it applied to Red magic as well as the other three.
    He continued, “If you use the power in a negative way, you will create negative things. But—” He paused, raising his eyebrow. “—I can’t think of a way that chaos could be good.”
    I chose my words carefully. “Maybe I should try to make it as harmless as possible. After the thing with the car this morning, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. What if I could limit chaos? People would still get hurt, but what if I could pick who would be hurt, and choose as few people as possible?”
    Justin shook his head, looking worried. “It’s not up to us to decide. Remember the Rede, Darlena: ‘An’ it harm none, do what you will.’ If you start believing you can choose who lives and dies in this world, you’re going to go crazy.”
    I voiced my worst fear. “But then what is the point of having Red magic? Why am I a Red if there’s really nothing I can do besides blow things up?”
    Justin was silent. I flopped down on his desk chair and gritted my