Free American Chick in Saudi Arabia by Jean Sasson Page A

want to wear the veil, he stared at me. When I asked him if he could find anything in his Muslim faith that required women to cover their faces, he smiled without commenting. When I told him that I wanted to wait a few years to have children, he smiled without speaking.
    "The day after our wedding, Obeid sat me down, talking in his soft voice, telling me that he wanted a wife who stayed at home, a wife who would give him children, a wife who wanted a husband to be a real man and take care of his family. I protested that I wanted to pursue the career I had trained for, and that my work as a dentist would be ideal for a wife and mother. I could make my own hours, I told him.
    "But Obeid reminded me that he was the husband, the head of our family, and that I was never to question his decisions. I was to put the thought of a career out of my mind.
    "When Obeid learned that I did not own a veil to cover my face and eyes, he called his mother and asked her to meet us at the Riyadh airport with veil in hand. When I protested, he softly told me that my exposed face would cause a scandal. "You must cover your face when you leave our home," he ordered in a gentle voice.
    "When I wept in our bed, Obeid demanded his marital rights again and again, asking me, what woman could want more than what I am offering? Everyone was happy, but me, when I became pregnant on our honeymoon."
    Nayam haltingly reveals that her first child, a son, died before his first birthday. His kidneys did not function properly. With such a small amount of urine output, his entire body was slowly poisoned. The infant had suffered terribly with gruesome raw red rashes that coated his body. The rashes developed into open sores that sometimes oozed pus and blood. Even Nayam, his loving mother, admitted that she believed his death merciful.
    Her second child, a daughter, died within six months with the exact medical problems her brother suffered. The poor darling had left her earthly life whimpering with pain.
    After the death of their second child, Nayam's physician recommended genetic screening and counseling. Once the results were studied, Obeid and Nayam were cautioned by Western physicians not to have more children. They were told that both carried a gene that, when combined, was likely to cause terminal abnormalities in their offspring.
    Many tribes in Saudi Arabia routinely marry within the tribe, with cousins marrying cousins on a regular basis. There is a belief that such customs strengthen families. Weakness comes from outside the family unit. The idea that medical dangers may lurk in intermarriage is an outlandish concept to most Saudis.
    Obeid had scornfully rejected the warnings, insisting they try yet again. "Only God can decide this issue," Obeid declared.
    Nayam's third child, a son, died within nine months of the same medical disorder.
    Obeid insisted on yet more children. The grieving Nayam was pregnant within a week of burying her third child.
    An exhausted Nayam pleaded with Obeid to take a second wife. Let another woman give him children, she implored. If he did not want two wives at the same time, she would not protest a divorce.
    My jaw drops in surprise. The biggest fear of every Saudi woman I've met is that their spouse will bring a second wife into their lives. None that I ever heard of encouraged her husband to take a second wife.
    "Obeid had no interest in another woman. Instead, he was angered by my suggestion. My husband became obsessed, telling me with that quiet voice that he could and would father a healthy child with me."
    She lifts her chin, staring at the bundle in her arms. "Then my little Shaker was born with a head too large for his body. The doctors are doing what they can, but Shaker's head keeps growing. Even the head drain did little to stop it.
    "Just today, the physician told Obeid we should not have any more babies. The doctor said in his medical opinion that all our babies will die prematurely."
    She tells me that Obeid had