Free Complicit by Stephanie Kuehn Page A

truth. Selfish bastards.”
    â€œAngie and Malcolm?”
    â€œWho else?”
    â€œCate, I can smell stuff in your room. I can smell it right now. I’m not stupid.”
    She scooted toward me on her hands and knees, then grabbed my pants so that I had to face her. “Look, I smoke pot to relax. Otherwise I’d be a fucking paranoid mess, living here.” Her nose wrinkled. “With them. ”
    â€œThey’re not that bad.”
    Her lip curled. “Oh, you would say that, wouldn’t you?”
    â€œWhat do you mean?”
    Cate rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. “Like you don’t know. Mr. Scared to Rock the Boat. Mr. Four point oh GPA. You’re even worse than they are.”
    â€œMaybe seeing Dr. Waverly is a good idea. You know, if you have trouble relaxing.”
    â€œWhy? So she can put me on pills like you? So I can turn into a goddamn trained seal? Arf arf arf.”
    What on earth? I couldn’t believe her. “You just said you smoked pot to relax! How is that any different?”
    She waved a hand. “It just is. You wouldn’t understand.”
    â€œWell, I like Dr. Waverly. And I’m not even taking any pills anymore. I haven’t in a long time. Not since—”
    â€œNot since what?”
    â€œNot since that day at the barn … when I was with you and you made me ride Cricket.”
    Cate sat back. Her face softened. “Seriously?”
    â€œSeriously. She said I didn’t need them anymore.”
    My sister didn’t say anything. She just stared at me.
    â€œCate?”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œDo you remember Mom? Our real mom?”
    â€œYes,” she whispered as she reached up to run her hand through my hair. A gentle caress that made me shudder. “Do you?”
    â€œI don’t know,” I said. “I mean, I have a few memories, but they’re so faint, it’s hard to know if they’re real or if I just think they are.”
    â€œAre they good memories?”
    â€œYes. Mostly.”
    Cate’s chin quivered. “Then maybe … then maybe that’s all that matters.”
    â€œYou think?”
    â€œI don’t know.”
    â€œAre your memories good?” I asked her.
    Cate wiped her eyes. “Not really.”
    â€œThen don’t be like her, Cate. Don’t do stupid things. Don’t die when you’re twenty-four. Please. ”
    Cate started to cry.
    â€œOh, Jamie,” she said. “I’m trying to do the right thing. I am. But—”
    â€œBut what?”
    â€œBut it’s so hard!”

EIGHTEEN
    I stand next to my Jeep after Cate hangs up on me. I don’t move. I’m too stunned. Our first conversation in years and it’s like nothing’s changed. She’s still as maddening as ever, although I suppose it’s not reasonable to expect Cate would come out of being locked up any more sane than when she went in. I still don’t know if seeing her on the streets of Berkeley was a random accident or not. Is she following me? Is that what’s going on? Or did my subconscious somehow put me in a position where I’d be likely to run into my own sister? The latter’s possible, I guess, but I don’t really like to think like that, since it sort of cheapens the whole fate thing.
    The chirrup of my phone breaks me out of my dark memories and out of my dark mood. I look down and see a text. It’s from Jenny. This warms me. Hearing from her is exactly what I need right now.
    We go back and forth for a bit.
    Her: Thanks for the movie. I had a great time.:)
    Me: Me too.
    Her: There’s a party tonight. Rock City. Going?
    Me: Wasn’t planning on it. Might reconsider.
    Her: You should definitely reconsider. I’d really like to see you again. <3
    I hold the phone to my chest after her last message. Everything inside of me says to play it cool, but I don’t feel cool. Not when a girl I like is