simple as moaning and groaning. If you are still able to articulate words but are a bit shy, start by saying his name, telling him what you really enjoy. After you’ve got the ball rolling, you can move on to almost anything that sets you ablaze. It’s best if you start the talk and then ask him to respond or to repeat something you’ve said. Ask him questions – tell him how good something you’re doing feels, ask him to tell you how good it is for him as well!
When he’s become comfortable with that level of discourse, you’ll want to move your conversation into giving a bit of direction. If you’re doing it doggie-style, you can ask him to spank you, or tell him to hold you down or grab your hair. Tell him to give it to you harder. If a guy thinks he has a good chance of really seeing you explode into ecstasy, he’ll take any kind of direction that he can easily place in his own frame of reference.
When you’ve got “showing” down pat, and “telling” is working out OK, try combining the two. Say you want him to pull your hair – try grabbing his hand in yours, fingers intertwined, putting his hand to the back of your head and making a fist. Tell him how good it feels and how much you like it. He shouldn’t find it too difficult to take the hint!
Another good tactic to try is to get him really hot and bothered, with a lot of teasing, to the point where he just can’t take it anymore … then lie back and say, “Have your way with me” or, “Do with me what you will.” If you make him hungry enough and then let him have free reign, his own alpha male desires should be well in control.
Examples like these, at least in the beginning stages, all have to do with you giving direction – and while that can be empowering, in the end you really want him to take over and be the assertive one who comes up with all these ideas on his own. That is the point after all, isn’t it?
The way to make that transition is to talk about what you’ve already been doing in the bedroom once you’ve started introducing these more aggressive elements yourself. You don’t have to schedule a meeting, or take notes, or implement a plan of attack. This does not have to be a governmental debriefing! Be cool and casual, smooth and sexy. Make it hot, and he’ll respond with exactly what you need from him … feedback.
Getting Verbal
Post-coital conversations are a good place to start talking. Recall the specific things he did to you – even if they were prompted by you – and reinforce how much they turned you on. If you feel like this might be awkward, pretend that you’re describing your favorite parts of your favorite film, or a really delicious part of a wonderful erotic story.
To further reinforce his feelings, you can send text messages or emails at random times: “Still thinking about that spanking! Yummy!” Or, you can set up a dirty date (with you!), and make it perfectly clear to him that he can have his way with you tonight. Again, little messages are good for relaying this, as talking it to death is going to make both of you too self-conscious to be able to really enjoy it. Slip a note into his bagged lunch or briefcase (but make sure it’s hidden in something for your man’s eyes only – no need to go broadcasting the night’s activities to the whole office). Leave him a little voicemail (go for the cell phone and not the office line) and entice him with the details of what the two of you have got cooking for dessert.
This should all be taken on and expanded upon gradually so you and your man don’t get overwhelmed with it all. Even if you do go nice and slow, he might want to ask you what’s going on. After all, one of the signs of a cheating partner is that their sexual tastes change, particularly after a period of lackluster lovemaking between the two of you. This is all strange and new to him and while it might have secretly been one of his fantasies as