Free His Heart for the Trusting by Lisa Mondello Page A

and
seemed so worldly compared to the young and naïve girl she’d been.  He had told
her how to dress to be sexy, what to say at parties to help him get promotions,
and who to be friends with in order to further their position in the
community.  They dined every Friday night at the most exclusive restaurants
with Dave's colleagues and had brunch every Sunday with friends.  The life he
gave her in Los Angeles was something out of a glamorous Hollywood movie.  And
Sara had wanted so much to fit in. 
    For a long
time, she did.  Sara had allowed Dave take the lead and mold her.  That was her
biggest mistake.
    He’d once told
her that no wife of his would ever work.  It would only mean that he couldn't
provide a suitable home if Sara had felt the need to have a job outside the
home.  After years of playing tennis and having superficial lunches with people
who had nothing to talk about but vacationing in Europe or remodeling yet
another section of their house, Sara decided she needed more.  Volunteering at
the daycare had been a compromise only after endless arguments.
    It was there,
as she sat with the children, telling Native American stories she'd been told
as a child, that Sara's world changed.  The piece of herself she'd thrown away
to be with Dave reemerged among the children and the stories, filling a gap
that had grown wider with the years.
    It was only
then that Sara realized what a facade her life had been.  Friends she thought
cared for her didn't want to hear about the heartache of what went on behind
the closed doors of what appeared to be a perfect home.  Sara learned to keep
her mouth shut and to go along if she didn't want to be on the bad side of one
of Dave's tempers.
    She'd become
her husband's personal rag doll and it shamed her.  Her cheeks flamed even
months after their divorce was final, to think of how she'd allowed her ex-husband
to manipulate her.
    Mandy's
surprise visit to Los Angeles had been a miracle.  Sara recalled the
humiliation she felt when Dave had come home and found the two of them laughing
in the living room over bowls of Heavenly Hash ice cream.  On the outside, she
seemed strong and confident and had learned to assert herself.  As long as Dave
wasn't around.  And as soon as he'd had come home and done a once over look at
Mandy, Sara had turned inward again.
    Ashamed at her
own reaction and what she'd become, she'd given Mandy the excuse she had a
migraine and needed to lay down.  Mandy had called her the next day to check on
her.  Sara had let the answering machine pick up the call, and because of that,
Mandy dropped by before heading to the airport on her way back to Texas.
    “You have
family and friends who love you in Texas,” Mandy had said, looking past all the
excuses Sara had given her.  She'd hugged Sara fiercely at the door.  “I'm not
letting go of this friendship.”
    It had been the
beginning of the end of her marriage, although in looking back, it had never
been much of a marriage at all.  Even though Sara hadn't been ready to leave
Los Angeles, Sara held to Mandy's words and knew that she'd have the strength
to leave eventually.  And when she finally did have the courage to leave,
there'd been no visible wounds for anyone to see. 
    But the scars
were there, deep down, and one of them reared its ugly head at her tonight in
front of Mitch.
    She let out a
heavy sigh and felt tears stinging her eyes once again.  She could only imagine
what Mitch must be thinking.
    The sun was
deep in the west when she'd climbed the stairs to check on Jonathan.  The
bedroom was filled with a golden hue of burnt orange and red.  Heat hung heavy
in the air, but the baby seemed content enough sleeping in a cool cotton
sleeper that fit snug.  Turning the baby monitor on, she grabbed the speaker
and tucked it into the pocket of her light linen jacket. 
    She had to talk
to Mitch and explain her reaction.  The last thing she wanted was for him to
think he'd done