and lightly tucked stray strands of hair behind her ear. “I want to be here.”
She sniffled, and for a panicked second, I thought she was crying. But when she raised her head and looked at me, her eyes were only filled with dejection. Her nose was red though and she looked miserable.
“Don’t do that,” she said.
“What?”
“Say those things. You can’t say those things. You can’t … want me.”
I planted my butt on the snow bank next to her and circled my knees with my arms. “And why’s that?”
She looked away, shaking her head. “Because you think I’m her … Marie.”
I squinted into t he distance. “Well, aren’t you? I mean, you don’t have the mask on or the dress, but it was you underneath it, wasn’t it?”
She shook her head again. “No ! I mean, yes, but we’re two completely different people. I’m nothing like her.”
“I think you’re wrong.”
Her eyes, when they found me, were sad, but clear. “What if I wasn’t her, Adam? What if she was someone else, would you still want me?”
It was a question I ’d asked myself often since the whole incident unfurled. From the moment I realized who Kia was, from the second it struck me that the girl I was dreaming about was the same girl I couldn’t stop thinking about … I wondered what I would have done if they had been two different girls. The thought had filled me with dread and a nasty headache.
“I don’t know,” I murmured honestly.
I hated to admit it, hated the hurt it brought to her face, but it was the truth. It had been one of my biggest fears while I was trying to solve the mystery. Although after I figured it out, I kind of wanted to kick myself for not realizing it sooner. I should have listened to that little voice telling me how familiar their voices were, how familiar their eyes and lips were. It was ridiculous how blind I’d been. But to pick between them. The odds were very high that I would not have been able to.
“ I wish you had picked her,” she whispered as though reading my thoughts. “Then maybe you wouldn’t be here and it wouldn’t be so hard to be near you.”
“Kia…” I reached for her, needing to touch her and take away the pain coming off her like heat waves.
She flinched away. “Don’t.”
I gave a resigned sigh. “Do you want to know a secret?” I didn’t wait for a response. I didn’t even look at her, but watched the boy—Timmy—get dragged forward by his mom’s hands, but I could feel Kia watching me, waiting. “The thing that attracted me to you both times was your lips. You have these amazing, kissable—”
“ Adam…”
I ignored her. “Beautiful lips. I remember watching you talk the first day we met at Taco-Taco and thinking how perfect they were. When I saw you at Claudia’s party, it was the first thing I saw again. I haven’t been able to get your lips out of my mind since. I especially love them when they say my name. There’s something incredibly sexy about the tone your voice takes on when your lips shape each syllable.” I twisted my head to the side and peered at her, squinting a little under the piercing glare of the sun. “How’s that for a confession?”
She shook her head slowly. “We can’t do this. I can’t do this. Nessie will never forgive either of us.”
I frowned. “ You mentioned that before, at the school, but you never told me why. What does Vanessa have to do with us?”
Kia drew her knees to her chest and sat in silence for several long minutes. She drew circles in the snow with the tip of her gloved finger.
“ I never wanted to be at that party,” she said at last, her voice muffled by the knees she was hugging to her chest with one arm. “I agreed because Nessie talked me into it. I had no expectation that I would actually enjoy myself. In fact, I was fully prepared to be miserable. Then I bumped into you.” She turned her head and offered me a half smile. “I was so scared that you’d laugh if you knew who it