Free 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by How to Talk to Anyone Page B

liverwurst, that is.” Thanks, Dottie, that’s a little bit of help.
    Here’s my “anything, except liverwurst” on small talk. Anything you say is fine as long as it is not complaining, rude, or 02 (043-92B) part two 8/14/03 9:17 AM Page 55
    How to Sound Like You’ve Got a Super Personality
    55
    unpleasant. If the first words out of your mouth are a complaint—
    BLAM—people label you a complainer. Why? Because that complaint is your new acquaintance’s 100 percent sampling of you so far. You could be the happiest Pollyanna ever, but how will they know? If your first comment is a complaint, you’re a griper. If your first words are rude, you’re a creep. If your first words are unpleasant, you’re a stinker. Open and shut. Other than these downers, anything goes. Ask them where they’re from, how they know the host of the party, where they bought the lovely suit they’re wearing—or hundreds of etceteras. The trick is to ask your prosaic question with passion to get the other person talking.
    Still feel a bit shaky on making the approach to strangers? Let’s take a quick detour on our road to meaningful communicating. I’ll give you three quickie techniques to meet people at parties—
    then nine more to make small talk not so small.
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    ✰ 12 How to Make People
    Want to Start a
    Conversation with You
    Singles proficient at meeting potential sweethearts without the benefit of introduction (in the vernacular, making a “pickup”), have developed a deliciously devious technique that works equally well for social or corporate networking purposes. The technique requires no exceptional skill on your part, only the courage to sport a simple visual prop called a “Whatzit.”
    What’s a Whatzit? A Whatzit is anything you wear or carry that is unusual—a unique pin, an interesting purse, a strange tie, or an amusing hat. A Whatzit is any object that draws people’s attention and inspires them to approach you and ask, “Uh, what’s that?” Your Whatzit can be as subtle or overt as your personality and the occasion permit.
    I wear around my neck an outmoded pair of glasses that resembles a double monocle. Often the curious have approached me at a gathering and asked, “Whatzit?” I explain it’s a lorgnette left to me by my grandmother, which, of course, paves the way to discuss hatred of glasses, aging eyes, love or loss of grandmothers, adoration of antique jewelry—anywhere the inquisitor wants to take it. Perhaps, unknowingly, you have fallen prey to this soon-tobe-legendary technique. At a gathering, have you ever noticed 56
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    How to Make People Want to Start a Conversation with You 57
    someone you would like to talk to? Then you’ve racked your brain to conjure an excuse to make the approach. What a bounty it was to discover that he or she was wearing some weird, wild, or wonderful something you could comment on. The Whatzit Way to Love
    Your Whatzit is a social aid whether you seek business rewards or new romance. My friend Alexander carries Greek worry beads with him wherever he goes. He’s not worried. He knows any woman who wants to talk to him will come up and say, “What’s that?”
    Think about it, gentlemen. Suppose you’re at a party. An attractive woman spots you across the room. She wants to talk to you but she’s thinking, “Well, Mister, you’re attractive. But, golly, what can I say to you? You just ain’t got no Whatzit.”
    Be a Whatzit Seeker, Too
    Likewise, become proficient in scrutinizing the apparel of those you wish to approach. Why not express interest in the handkerchief in the tycoon’s vest pocket, the brooch on the bosom of the rich divorcée, or the school ring on the finger of the CEO whose company you want to work for?
    The big spender who, you suspect, might buy a hundred of your widgets has a tiny golf-club