Free Taking Him (Lies We Tell) by Jackie Ashenden

it didn’t. It only made him harder.
    For a moment he stood by his bike, wondering what the hell to do. He’d initially planned on a stranger hook-up but now it felt wrong, especially since he could still feel Ellie on his fingers. Still see the desperation in her face. Still hear her cry of release in his ears.
    Ah God, this was so screwed up.
    Suddenly breathless with the need to break free of the sick mass of desire and guilt and fear and fury that seethed inside him, he pushed his hand into the pocket of his jeans and found the drawing pin that was still in there. Closed his fingers around it, the sharp tip stabbing into his palm, digging in. The pain was a relief. A blessing. A punishment. And a reminder.
    Not again. He couldn’t touch her again. That was the only simple thing about the whole sorry mess he’d gotten himself into.
    Calmer, he eventually let go of the pin, picking up a rag nearby to wipe away the blood. Then he swung his leg over the bike and sat down, starting the big machine, the roar of the engine filling the garage.
    He opened the throttle and five minutes later he was on the road, the wind dragging at his clothing, the twilight settling in around him.
    He had no idea where he was going and he didn’t care. To hell and back, probably.
     
     
    Cafe Manga Xtreme was full of people, and Ellie resented every single one of them. She’d come here to talk to Kara, and the fact the café was busy meant her friend probably wouldn’t have time for a good heart-to-heart.
    Going past the rows of computers and the people who were currently glued to them, either playing online games or obsessively checking their social media profiles, Ellie made her way to the collection of old couches at the back of the café, throwing herself down onto one.
    Kara was behind the counter, dealing with a customer, but she waved her hand in the air, pointing at Ellie without looking up, indicating she’d seen her and that Ellie’s usual double-shot latte was in progress.
    Sighing, Ellie got her iPad out of her bag and put her feet up on the table, kicking aside a stack of josei Manga. Then she looked down at the screen, fiddling around with some sketches for the main character for her latest game idea, the one she hoped the Japanese studio was going to want to develop. It would be for mobile devices, a game app she was pretty confident would be a hit. If she managed to get it right, that was. And at this particular moment, right was a concept she couldn’t quite envisage. Wrong, on the other hand, was a concept she was completely familiar with.
    Like lying awake all night, unable to sleep because the stupid man she’d been holding a candle for had finally touched her, only to drop her like a hot brick afterwards. Only to tell her he was giving her what she’d wanted. Nothing more. Like he didn’t even care. Like she meant nothing.
    That was wrong. So bloody wrong.
    So was the fact that instead of getting angry, instead of demanding more, she’d let him walk away. Had sat in the hallway like a broken doll. Like a pathetic doormat.
    Then had avoided him since.
    Ellie swore softly, realising she’d somehow drawn a devil’s tail on the big-eyed furry creature that was supposed to be the main character for her game. Crap. She’d been going for cute not freaky.
    “So babe, you look tired.” Kara put down Ellie’s coffee and sat beside her.
    “Yeah, and back at ya.”
    Kara flopped back on the couch. “Touché, babe. Tou-fucking-shay.” Her friend had blue and pink striped hair today, held back from her face with a black headband. But despite the cheerful hair colour, behind the lenses of her glasses her eyes looked shadowed.
    “So what’s up?” Ellie asked. Always easier to ask someone about their problems than discuss your own.
    “Nothing I want to talk about. What about you?”
    “Same.”
    “Bullshit.”
    “How come I have to tell you when you don’t have to tell me?”
    “Because those are the rules. And