Free Into the Storm by Melanie Moreland

coffee,” I said, turning back to the window.
    She nodded and retreated into the kitchen. I sighed and looked out into the vast white world again. I had to talk to her. I needed to stay away from her. And to do that, I had to get her to want to stay away from me.
    A mug of coffee appeared before me. I thanked Rabbit and took a sip of the hot liquid, casually stepping away from her. “Storm is over.” I pointed out the window. “I’ll start plowing in a while.”
    “ Can I help somehow?”
    I shook my head. “No. I don’t like Bear out when I am driving the plow so he can stay inside with you.”
    “ Joshua?”
    “ Hmm?”
    “ What did I do last night? Why did you leave?” she asked nervously.
    I sighed. I sat down on the chair and indicated she should sit on the sofa. I couldn’t sit beside her. Already, I could feel myself wanting to reach out and touch her. Make her smile. If I was close, I wasn’t sure I could resist.
    “ You didn’t do anything, Rabbit,” I assured her. “I did.”
    “ I don’t understand.”
    “ I crossed the line last night. I shouldn’t have done that.”
    “ Talking to me? Telling me about your attack?”
    I shook my head sadly. “No, I don’t regret telling you that. Kissing you.”
    “ You regret kissing me?”
    I couldn’t look her in the eye and lie, so I stared at the floor. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
    She looked at me for a minute, puzzled. “I wanted you to kiss me, Joshua. We kissed each other.”
    My heart clenched a little, hearing her say that. But I had to continue.
    “ Rabbit, you don’t know what you want. You’re confused and lost. You have no idea who you are.” I drew in a deep breath. “I have no idea who you are.”
    Her voice was quiet. “What are you saying?”
    “ You could be married, Rabbit. There could be someone out there looking for you. You have a whole life you don’t know anything about. Right now, you’re struggling and I took advantage of that.”
    Her eyes narrowed. “And I might not have anyone in my life.” She pulled the sleeve of her shirt up exposing the bruises staining her skin, “Or maybe the person in it did this.”
    I averted my eyes. “That’s the problem, Rabbit. We don’t know. I have no right to add to the problem.”
    “ The problem ? I’m a problem again?”
    I stood up, walking over to the window. “No, Rabbit, you’re not a problem. My … attraction … to you is, and acting on it only complicates an already confusing situation.” I turned around and looked at her. “You need to rest and recover. I need to work. I think it’s best if we just try and stay away from each other as much as possible.”
    “ What if that isn’t what I want?”
    “ What do you think you want, Rabbit?”
    “ To be close to you. To get to know you.”
    “ To what end?”
    “ I … I’m attracted to you as well, Joshua. You make me feel safe. I thought about this all night. I don’t feel like there is anyone. I don’t have a wedding ring; I don’t have any longings for someone like I am missing them. If I had someone, wouldn’t I feel something? Some sense of someone?”
    I wanted to tell her she was right. I wanted to tell her she was safe. But I couldn’t.
    “ You don’t know what you’re feeling. And I make you feel safe because, right now I’m the only person you have to depend on. That’s all.”
    “ Don’t tell me what I’m feeling,” she snapped at me.
    “ I’m trying to stop a huge mistake from happening, Rabbit. One that neither of us could take back,” I snapped back.
    “ And, you’re so sure it’d be a mistake?”
    “ Yes.”
    “ Why?”
    I ran my hand through my hair in vexation. She wasn’t going to let this go. I straightened my shoulders and stared at her steadily.
    “ Because you want a relationship.”
    “ And you don’t?”
    “ No.”
    “ What do you want?”
    I kept my voice flat. “I just want to fuck someone.”
    She stepped back in shock.
    “ But last night you