Free Today & Tomorrow by Susan Fanetti

texting him this time.
     
    She heard him pull up. His bike was different from the one he’d tried to teach her on—different from most bikes she saw on the road. It was older. Vintage. Even the art on the tank was retro: the words Wreaking Havoc in stylized red script across the top, and the Horde patch on either side. It was weird to see such a young guy on such an old bike, but it suited him. There was something ‘vintage’ about Nolan himself.
     
    Her mother had always told her she was an ‘old soul,’ which meant, she’d come to understand, that she’d had a lot of past lives, and had thus been born wise and empathetic to the ways of people and the world.
     
    If you believed that sort of thing. Her mother had. Analisa wasn’t sure what she believed, but she understood the sentiment behind the idea. And she thought Nolan was an ‘old soul,’ too. There was something in his dark blue eyes that made her think it, though it was tired more than wise, in her estimation.
     
    Taking off his helmet now, he definitely looked tired. And wary. But he smiled and hugged her.
     
    “How’re you feeling?”
     
    “I’m good. I feel okay.” That was the truth, even. She’d woken up that morning excited and happy, and she’d been able to eat without much trouble. Eating was starting to get a little tricky. Not every day. Maybe about half the time. She felt sure that the shadows on her digestive system were becoming actual tumors now. But there wasn’t much pain yet, so she kept it to herself.
     
    “You’ve lost weight, though.”
     
    “Maybe. I have a scale, Nolan. I don’t need an update.”
     
    He frowned, but then he nodded. “Sorry.”
     
    “It’s okay. I just don’t want to think about It today. Or tomorrow. Okay?”
     
    “Tomorrow?” His frown deepened. “You want me to come back tomorrow?”
     
    “No. I want you to stay the night.”
     
    He blinked. “What?”
     
    She took his hand. “Will you come down to the water and talk?” He’d told her more than once that the view from their strip of beach was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. It seemed like a good setting for what she wanted to say.
     
    His only answer was a nod, so she led him by the hand around to the back of the house and down to the beach. When they got near enough to the water that the sand was flat but not wet, she sat down. After a second, he joined her, stretching his legs out. His scuffed, black Doc Martens were covered with sand.
     
    “What’s goin’ on, Ani? Are you worse?”
     
    She remembered the first time he’d called her ‘Ani.’ No one had ever called her that, and he hadn’t asked if she minded. She didn’t mind at all. It was nice to have a name only he called her.
     
    “No, not worse. Not yet. And I said I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about my list.”
     
    “Jesus Christ. No. I’m sorry, but I’m not helping you with that shit anymore. You’re gonna get yourself killed.”
     
    She laughed at that irony but didn’t comment on it otherwise. “No. There’s nothing else like the bar that I want to do. That was stupid, and I’m sorry I dragged you into it.”
     
    He nodded, watching the water. “Okay. So what, then?”
     
    “How do you feel about me?”
     
    He turned and stared at her. “What?”
     
    “Do you like me? It feels like you do.”
     
    “Yeah, I like you. I like you a lot.”
     
    She smiled. She’d been sure, but it still felt good to hear it. “I like you, too. Do you…do you think I’m cute at all?”
     
    He combed his hair back with his fingers in that way that he had. “Jesus, Ani. What the hell?”
     
    “Is that a no?”
     
    “No, it’s not a no. I think you’re beautiful. You know you’re beautiful.”
     
    “So you wouldn’t mind having sex with me?”
     
    His eyes bored into her, his dark brows drawn down over them. “What the fucking hell?”
     
    His answers weren’t exactly encouraging, but she didn’t have time