Free Here and Now by E. L. Todd Page A

played with her glass and looked at the liquid inside. “You just said your brother has a marriage you aspire to.”
    “And they’ll probably end up of getting divorced too,” I said bitterly. “I love my brother but he’s a fucking asshole. He treated her like shit for a really long time. He didn’t pull his head out of his ass until recently, and I’ll always remember the way he treated Scarlet for as long as I live. He’s redeemed himself a million times over, but I still can’t forget the past. I just don’t want to be hurt like she was. I don’t want to be used. I feel like Cassandra never really loved me, and I just can’t go through that again. I’m meant to be a bachelor, never being with anyone long enough to start caring about them.”
    “That’s no way to live.”
    “Coming from the stripper who slept with me and never called me back.” That was low but I didn’t care.
    “I’m sorry. I already knew your reputation and knew you didn’t want to talk to me.”
    “Then why did I call?”
    “Because I’m Janice’s sister and you felt bad.”
    “It doesn’t matter anymore.” I finished my beer then looked at everyone inside the bar. They were having a good time, hanging with their friends and flirting with their dates. The sound of their conversation and laughter echoed in my ears, making me feel more and more hollow.
    Laura stared at me for a long time. “I know you feel like shit right now, but you won’t always feel like this.”
    I didn’t bother responding to her hollow and empty comment. “I’m heading home.” I left the booth then walked to the door without saying goodbye to her. I just wasn’t in the mood to be nice right now.
    When I reached the sidewalk, she came beside me.
    “Wait.”
    I turned around. “What?”
    She played with her hair for a moment. “You want to come to my place…?”
    Did she want to hook up? “You want to fuck?”
    She smirked. “I wouldn’t mind it. I’m lonely and you’re lonely. And you’re good in bed.”
    The idea was tempting. I knew Cassandra wasn’t coming back so I didn’t owe her anything. I was single and could do whatever the hell I wanted. And I already slept with Laura so there wouldn’t be any surprises. “I know you think I’ve become this really nice guy that’s just going through a hard time, but let me assure you, I’m a fucking asshole and I don’t care about you. The only reason why I’ve been nice to you is because Ryan is my friend. And if I sleep with you, it’s solely just to fuck you and not call you again.”
    She smirked. “At least you’re honest about it. But I’m fine with all of that.”
    Could I really do this? I kept thinking about Cassandra. But I guess I would think about her no matter what. No matter how long I waited to be with someone new, she would be in my thoughts when I first fucked someone else. But I still couldn’t do it. “I’m gonna pass. Have a good night.”
    “Mike.”
    I sighed. “What?”
    She sauntered to me then pressed her face close to mine. “You can pretend to be an asshole but I know you aren’t one.”
    “You obviously don’t know me very well.”
    “Then why did you offer me the job? Why did you buy me a drink?”
    I didn’t have a response to that.
    “I think you’re hurting right now but you’ll see it through.” She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine. They were warm and wet, the taste of whiskey on her lips. The kiss was short and gentle. The sound of our lips breaking apart was loud on my ears. “Call me if you change your mind.” She walked to the street and got into cab.
    I processed what just happened, realizing I just kissed someone who wasn’t Cassandra.

7
    Hazel
    You know that moment when you walk into a room and you know everyone was just talking about you? That happened to me a lot today. All the dancers despised me. When they said mean things about me, they didn’t even bother whispering.
    “I can’t believe he’s dating her,”