Free Stone Guardian by Danielle Monsch

to precede her out.
    Larissa entered her classroom to her students scribbling notes with a frenetic intensity, their expressions sharpened as they seldom were for any of her lectures.
    Then she heard the Japanese woman speak.
    “Yes, I do realize men who have an orc ancestor tend to be really ugly, but that’s why they invented paper bags. Trust me, as long as a guy knows he’s getting some, he’ll wear a pink bunny costume if that’s what’s needed to seal the deal. What matters here and what you need to remember is guys that have some orc in them are hung like nobody’s business. If you like your men large and dominating, make a beeline for them.”
    “What about elves?” called a male student.
    “Elves are ridiculously high maintenance. If that’s fine with you, the key for elves is the ears and the back. Sure, they like the other areas fine, but you want to make one a little puddle of goo, spend ten minutes massaging their back. It’s practically a sure thing after that.”
    “What are you telling my students?” While Larissa’s squeaky tone may not have been what one would call commanding, it did stop the small woman from talking.
    “I was answering questions. They are woefully unprepared to enter the real world,” Laire said, turning back to a student in the front with her hand up.
    “I think that’s enough question and answer. Let’s go,” said Fallon, a quick movement of her head signaling the other woman to get off the desk.
    “But, Fallon, they need educated. You wouldn’t believe the misconceptions they had about how to have sex with a shifter.”
    Fallon walked over to the desk and grabbed the woman’s ear, walking toward the door without waiting to see if Laire was on her feet yet. “Ow, Fallon, ow! Let go, I’m coming, I’m coming!”
    “Goodbye, Miss Miller,” Fallon said. Larissa didn’t have to be a mind reader to see the for now Fallon mentally added onto the end of that sentence.
    Fallon walked toward the door, pulling the small woman behind her. “I knew I should have brought Aislynn,” Fallon said as they left the classroom.
    Laire’s snort was loud and clear though her voice was fading, their steps indicating they were walking away from the classroom. “Good idea to bring an elf amongst hormonal high school seniors. Do you really think Ais wants to be the jerk-off fantasy of the graduating class… OWWWWWWWWW!”
     
    *****
     
    “So I hear that there was much excitement in your class this morning.” Olivia Berry took her usual seat across from Larissa in the teacher’s lounge, leaning forward over the table as though she’d be able to get the full scoop faster that way.
    “That’s one way to put it,” Larissa agreed, not looking up from the book she was reading. It was always nice when Olivia went crazy over good gossip, a situation not to be rushed.
    Olivia didn’t even try at uninterested. “Tell me all or I’ll seduce one of your brothers and give you the play by play.”
    The full body shudder overtook her before she could stop it. “Eww. Don’t even talk about that.”
    “Michael is seriously hot…”
    “Fine, I’ll talk! Just stay away from the male members of my family.”
    Olivia settled down, smug radiating from every pore. “So who were your guests? I won’t even tell you the official version of the story, it’s too much BS to believe.”
    “Why are you such a conspiracy theorist? Maybe the official story is the real story.” Olivia said nothing, just blinked once, twice, three times. Larissa sighed. “So here’s what happened. I was attacked over the weekend…”
    Olivia’s face lost its maniacal interest, replaced by pure concern. She grabbed Larissa’s hand. “Are you okay?”
    “Yeah, I am, I am,” Larissa reassured her, squeezing Olivia’s hand in hers. “I was attacked by zombies.”
    “Zombies!” Olivia’s voice ricocheted in the empty room.
    “Shh!” Larissa admonished, looking around to verify they were indeed alone.