golden-eyed guy with one hell of a suntan," he said. "I met him at a rest stop back on the Road. Driving a hot little 1920s roadster. Had on a torn shirt. Said he was going to do a lobotomy on you with an icepick."
"I don't believe you!"
Red shrugged.
"Why don't you ask him yourself? I believe that's the roadster approaching now."
John turned to regard a rushing vehicle, dust boiling behind it. Red took several steps forward.
"Halt! Right there!" John spun and raised one hand, his eyes flashing. "If this is a trick, it won't work. And if it is not, I welcome the opportunity to kill that bird with this same stone. Mondamay! Burn Red Dorakeen down to a cinder!"
Mondamay raised his right arm, extruding a tube which he pointed at Red. Lights flashed in the vicinity of his shoulder. There came a crackling sound. A tiny wisp of smoke curled upward from out of the tube.
"Shorted again," he declared.
"What do you mean 'again'?" John said.
"It's been that way for thousands of years."
"Then disintegrate him! Blow him up! Bomb him! I don't care how you do it!"
A whirring sound began deep within Mondamay.
His lights flashed rapidly. Clicking noises emerged from various units. A tiny whine began somewhere.
"Uh — John," Red said, "did you never stop to wonder why that alien race left a piece of complicated equipment like Mondamay behind?"
"I'd rather assumed it was for purposes of knocking us back to barbarism if our civilization took some turn of which they disapproved."
"Naw, nothing that sophisticated," Red said. "Massive systems failures. He couldn't be repaired, so they abandoned him. Felt a little sorry for him since he was sentient, so they left him with his hobbies and his disguises. After all, he was harmless — ”
"Mondamay! Is that true?"
Smoke was emerging from all of Mondamay's joints, and the whine had risen to a wail. The lights still flashed, the clanking was constant now.
"Afraid so, John," he replied. "I guess I just burned one world too many in my younger days — ”
"Why didn't you tell me this?"
"You never asked me."
Red moved forward again.
"And so," he said, "you will have to earn your fee the hard way."
John turned back toward him, a smile on his lips.
"So be it. You get your wish and I get my hands dirty," he said, moving to meet him. "I will even save you the trouble of anticipating me by telling you how I will proceed. I am going to raise you above the ground by the neck, hold you at arm's length and strangle you with one hand while you dangle there. I would not imagine you think me cap — "
His eyes widened and he halted. He raised both hands slowly to his face.
"What — ?"
"You never asked me whether I cared to get my hands dirty," Red said, turning Flowers slowly to follow John's collapse. "I don't."
John fell and lay still. A trickle of blood emerged from his left ear.
"See? I'd always wanted that speaker with the ultrasound range," Flowers observed, "and if you'd gotten me the better model, you wouldn't even have had to edge up this close."
Red went to Mondamay, turned and withdrew the crystal key, and was handing it to him as the roadster came into the parking lot.
"You'd better keep this thing in a safe place or destroy it," he said.
"I was not even aware that this one existed," Mondamay replied. "Perhaps it was specially manufactured, or maybe it comes from some other branch of the Road. I barely recognized you. You look younger. What — ”
John moaned and began to rise. Red leaned over and struck him on the jaw. He fell again.
"Well, all's well now," Red said. "I was just coming to visit you."
The car had braked to a halt. Its door slammed.
"How pleasant — ”
"Hold Flowers a moment, would you? I want to speak with this gentleman."
Red turned toward the giant figure with the black bag who was now striding toward him.
"Hello again. Sorry to trouble you if we were mistaken," he said, glancing down, "but is this the guy you were looking for?"
The big man
"I don't believe you!"
Red shrugged.
"Why don't you ask him yourself? I believe that's the roadster approaching now."
John turned to regard a rushing vehicle, dust boiling behind it. Red took several steps forward.
"Halt! Right there!" John spun and raised one hand, his eyes flashing. "If this is a trick, it won't work. And if it is not, I welcome the opportunity to kill that bird with this same stone. Mondamay! Burn Red Dorakeen down to a cinder!"
Mondamay raised his right arm, extruding a tube which he pointed at Red. Lights flashed in the vicinity of his shoulder. There came a crackling sound. A tiny wisp of smoke curled upward from out of the tube.
"Shorted again," he declared.
"What do you mean 'again'?" John said.
"It's been that way for thousands of years."
"Then disintegrate him! Blow him up! Bomb him! I don't care how you do it!"
A whirring sound began deep within Mondamay.
His lights flashed rapidly. Clicking noises emerged from various units. A tiny whine began somewhere.
"Uh — John," Red said, "did you never stop to wonder why that alien race left a piece of complicated equipment like Mondamay behind?"
"I'd rather assumed it was for purposes of knocking us back to barbarism if our civilization took some turn of which they disapproved."
"Naw, nothing that sophisticated," Red said. "Massive systems failures. He couldn't be repaired, so they abandoned him. Felt a little sorry for him since he was sentient, so they left him with his hobbies and his disguises. After all, he was harmless — ”
"Mondamay! Is that true?"
Smoke was emerging from all of Mondamay's joints, and the whine had risen to a wail. The lights still flashed, the clanking was constant now.
"Afraid so, John," he replied. "I guess I just burned one world too many in my younger days — ”
"Why didn't you tell me this?"
"You never asked me."
Red moved forward again.
"And so," he said, "you will have to earn your fee the hard way."
John turned back toward him, a smile on his lips.
"So be it. You get your wish and I get my hands dirty," he said, moving to meet him. "I will even save you the trouble of anticipating me by telling you how I will proceed. I am going to raise you above the ground by the neck, hold you at arm's length and strangle you with one hand while you dangle there. I would not imagine you think me cap — "
His eyes widened and he halted. He raised both hands slowly to his face.
"What — ?"
"You never asked me whether I cared to get my hands dirty," Red said, turning Flowers slowly to follow John's collapse. "I don't."
John fell and lay still. A trickle of blood emerged from his left ear.
"See? I'd always wanted that speaker with the ultrasound range," Flowers observed, "and if you'd gotten me the better model, you wouldn't even have had to edge up this close."
Red went to Mondamay, turned and withdrew the crystal key, and was handing it to him as the roadster came into the parking lot.
"You'd better keep this thing in a safe place or destroy it," he said.
"I was not even aware that this one existed," Mondamay replied. "Perhaps it was specially manufactured, or maybe it comes from some other branch of the Road. I barely recognized you. You look younger. What — ”
John moaned and began to rise. Red leaned over and struck him on the jaw. He fell again.
"Well, all's well now," Red said. "I was just coming to visit you."
The car had braked to a halt. Its door slammed.
"How pleasant — ”
"Hold Flowers a moment, would you? I want to speak with this gentleman."
Red turned toward the giant figure with the black bag who was now striding toward him.
"Hello again. Sorry to trouble you if we were mistaken," he said, glancing down, "but is this the guy you were looking for?"
The big man
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