Free Class Is Not Dismissed! by Gitty Daneshvari Page B

at any second. Honestly,
     I’m a little surprised I’m still here.”
    “Ugh, Theo. You just made that disease up,” Lulu said as she rolled her sleepy eyes.
    “I did,” Theo admitted, “but only as a placeholder until I get to the bottom of my symptoms.”
    “Symptoms?” Madeleine asked. “You look fine. And Hyacinth already told us Celery is up-to-date on her shots.”
    “Hyhy,” Hyacinth corrected Madeleine before continuing. “Don’t worry, Theo, after Celery was kidnapped by this crazy kid in
     my class and ransomed for my cheesesandwich, I decided it was probably a good idea for her to get all her shots again.”
    “I’m kind of craving a cheese sandwich; that can’t be good!” Theo screeched.
    “Theo, you always crave sandwiches. The only person who thinks about food more than you is Macaroni,” Lulu responded. “And
     he’s an English bulldog. It’s in their genes.”
    With fear in his eyes and a touch of fur still in his mouth, Theo ran out of the room, down the hall, and past a bald, pajama-clad
     Mrs. Wellington on the staircase.
    “Where on earth are you running off to, Chubby? Breakfast won’t be ready for another half hour.”
    Theo ignored Mrs. Wellington as he took two stairs at a time. Through the foyer and Great Hall he ran, until he finally reached
     the kitchen. The boy dramatically dropped to his knees on the pink linoleum floor next to Macaroni. “Schmidty, I contracted
     something from that ferret, you know, the one with the gray fur?”
    “Mister Theo, to my knowledge there is only one ferret at Summerstone, so yes, I know exactly of whom you’re speaking.”
    “That mean girl—and I’m not talking about Lulu, who does occasionally punch me while claiming to fist-bump me…”
    “Perhaps it’s time to look into new friends, Mister Theo.”
    “I’m dying, Schmidty! Dying! I don’t have time to make new friends. As it is, I don’t know what kind of turnout my funeral
     will have. It’s summer vacation, everyone will be out of town. Oh no, a bad funeral. That’s even worse than a bad birthday
     party. Thank heavens I have a big family,” Theo wailed. “And you’ll come, right? I can count on you, Schmidty.”
    “Dear Mister Theo, the likelihood that I’ll outlive you is about a billion to one.”
    “Well, so are the odds of getting ferretitis from a ferret sleeping in your mouth. That’s right! That awful little ferret
     crawled into my mouth and slept in there. And
he
let it happen,” Theo said angrily as he pointed to Macaroni. “He was next to me snoring and occasionally even releasing gas,
     and he never bothered to wake me and say, ‘Hey, friend, there’s a ferret in your mouth.’ ”
    “Macaroni has never been much of a watchdog. Although technically, that’s exactly what he does. Hewatches things happen but never feels the need to get involved.”
    “And to think I was going to give you a pawdicure today,” Theo admonished Macaroni. “I was planning on a light pink nail polish
     that would go very well with your fur coat. But you can forget it. And if I die, don’t even
think
about missing my funeral, Macaroni!”
    “Will you be giving everyone a pedicure today?” Schmidty asked with excitement.
    “
Schm,
you know I love you, but I’ve seen your toes,” Theo said as he remembered Schmidty’s jagged brown toenails. “You need professional
     help.”
    “Don’t we all, Mister Theo.”
    “Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!”
Hyacinth bellowed from upstairs, sending a jolt through Theo, Schmidty, and Macaroni.
    “Oh, dear,” Schmidty said as he headed for the Great Hall.
    “Where are you going, Schmidty? I’ve got ferretitis! Have mercy on the young and plump!”
    As if there were not enough happening, Mrs. Wellington’s voice suddenly whipped through the Great Hall. “Schmidty! Get the
     tutu! We must leave immediately!”



CHAPTER 11
EVERYONE’S AFRAID OF SOMETHING:
Emetophobia is the fear of vomiting.

    M adeleine was still rather tired when