Free A Place Beyond Courage by Elizabeth Chadwick

made - as do you.’ He stripped his rings and placed them in the wall niche. ‘You should count yourself fortunate - Lady Marshal. If we had stayed at the castle, you would have been put to bed in front of a host of baying witnesses and I would have had to bed you with naught but a curtain between your modesty and their eyes and ears. Here at least we have privacy.’
    Aline flinched at the images conjured by his words. She would have died if she had had to do that. She knew he was speaking the truth. The bawdy jests and rough-housing of some celebrants at the feast had terrified her to the point of tears. One of them had been blaspheming about a cock crowing thrice before dawn, and he hadn’t been talking about St Peter’s betrayal of Christ.
    He was staring at her expectantly, but she was rooted to the spot. She couldn’t do as he wanted; she just couldn’t. Not in front of him like this.
    John came over to her. With swift, gentle fingers, he unfastened the ties at her throat and pushed the chemise down off her shoulders. Mortified, Aline gasped and grabbed the falling garment, but John caught her hands and unfolded them from their grip on the linen. ‘No,’ he said, ‘let it fall.’
    She closed her eyes, tears seeping from under her lashes. Quivering with fear and embarrassment, she felt the chemise puddle at her ankles. There was a long silence in which she imagined him staring at her. Did she please him? Is this what he wanted? Her own breathing was shaky with distress, but she could not hear his. Then she felt his open palm against the side of her face, warm and steady. His thumb brushing her tears.
    ‘Is it really that terrible?’ he asked.
    She said nothing because answering was beyond her. His voice gentled and he removed his hand. ‘Go, get into bed.’
    She scrambled to do as he said and pulled the covers up to her chin. He looked at her inscrutably, then, heaving a sigh, unlaced his own shirt and pulled it over his head. Aline pressed her lips together and turned to study the plaster frieze painted on the wall beside the bed as if it were the most fascinating thing she had ever seen.
    She heard him cross the room and blow out the lantern on the coffer. Returning to the bed, he also snuffed the large night candle on its wrought-iron stand, plunging the room into darkness. Her heart caught in her throat and she didn’t quite suppress a squeak of alarm as she felt his weight on the other side of the mattress.
    ‘I hope you are less afraid of the dark than you are of seeing men and women as God intended,’ he said wryly. She heard the rustle and whisper of him shedding the rest of his clothes in the dark and then the draught of air as he lifted the covers and got in beside her. She took short, shallow breaths, hardly daring to move, wondering fearfully what he was going to do next. Would it be better if she could see? Keep the light but close her eyes?
    He broke the silence with a sigh. ‘We both have a duty,’ he said. ‘The marriage must be consummated. Do you understand?’
    ‘Y... yes, my lord.’ Her words hardly stirred the air. She felt him turn towards her, his hand against her hair and then on her neck, sliding to cup her shoulder. ‘I swear to you I will do my best not to hurt you.’ The covers rustled as he leaned over and began kissing her on brow, eyelids, cheek, mouth corner, and then finally on the lips. Her stomach tensed until she felt as if it were touching her spine. She didn’t know how to answer him. What was she supposed to do? Clumsily she tried to kiss him back and, with great daring, set her arms around his neck. After a moment, she decided that she quite enjoyed the kissing and the closeness. She curled tentative fingers in the hair at his nape. However, when he stroked her breasts, she jumped like a startled deer. Her mother had never said that her husband would do this; she had only spoken in the broadest terms about the deed itself, but Aline could hardly ask John if