Free The Urban Book of the Dead by Jonathan Cottam Page B

some L.S.D or something stronger that doesn’t upset the logic of the mind but I don’t know how.”
    He lifted up some weighted socks in the sink and smiled broadly “We’ve got some PP9’s in socks and I’ve made another zip gun with two barrels instead of one, but there are only twenty cartridges left.”
    I looked at the rye bread and concentrated, immediately it grew large pieces of a purple mould and I picked up a knife and scraped the mould off into the tinted brown bottle labelled D.M.S.O. Then I shook the bottle. I got some squeezy containers out of the cupboard under the sink and filled them up from the bottle, undoing their caps. I also got out a small paint brush and put the remainder in a small empty paint pot.
    I turned to Jay and shrugged “I really don’t know of any natural hallucinogenic that’s not mind bending, but I could try and magic something up.”
    Jay nodded “You do that Monster.” He put his hand to his face and gave me a little salute.
    I went into the living room and sat down on the sofa. I leant over and took hold of an ashtray, picking out the butts and throwing them on the floor so all that was left was ash, which I stirred with my finger. This was the ash from Gods cigar and numerous roll ups and straights I had smoked since coming to the after life. I closed my eyes shut hard and envisioned lucidly every monster from hell; dragons and cenobites; and even roamed the body of a giant Cyclops from his hand up to his saucer flickering eye, I concentrated all these juices of the imagination into the front of my eyes, then I poked them till they bled into the cup and mixed its contents again with my finger into a red paste. This was my hallucinogenic drug to sharpen our imagination and therefore our magic on Earth.
    This all took nearly an hour, so some time having passed I psychically connected myself with my Gollum ‘Redd’, to see if he had got anywhere. I saw him looking at a computer screen and pushing keys with his hands with police men passing around him, so I knew he was already looking up files in a police station.
    I looked at the screen, it said “Statement by Paula Weaver. ‘After closing time at the Peppermint Square Night Club. Jane and me stayed for drinks with the bouncers and club owner Kenneth Chalk, and his two other gangster brothers Michael and Karl Chalk, they mainly deal in drugs. We were laughing hysterically and happy because we were high on E’s. Me and Jane danced together and the four men eyed us, especially the club owner, I think they gave us the E’s on purpose so we wouldn’t mind, Jane whipped her top off and slung it around because she was hot, she still had her bra on . . .”
    “That’s the one Redd” I said. Redd saw a police man reflected on the computer screen, he turned around to see an astonished police man with wide eyes bending over him and staring level with him. Redd slashed the police mans cheek with his toothbrush, globs of blood spitting out. The police man touched his face and shouted “Arghh!” as blood seeped between his fingers and dripped to the floor other policemen started looking but Redd had jumped down and was off at a sprint, he leapt in the air and disappeared, I followed him in my mind to a chasm of nowhere, then I came around, assured he was safe to continue his mission.
    Jay shook me to bring me round as I was a little torpid “Hey Monster”. I grabbed Jay back and we wrestled to the floor in a friendly manner, I got on top of him and he shook me off and ran away, I laughed “Ha-ha”.
    Just then there was a crash in the kitchen. We ran into the kitchen, I nearly fell skidding on broken glass on soapy water on the chess board linoleum floor. I could hear whining through billows of choking smoke coming in from out side through the jagged edges of glass where the window had fitted. There was the sound of scrambling and breaking pots and the smoke cleared enough to see a massive three headed pit bull dog. Its