alive.
“Any clues?” asked Jay.
“She always dances in the early hours of the morning”, I said edgily
“Let me see” Jay demanded in a friendly manner.
I handed the picture to Jay “Looks like the guys some kind of bouncer” Said Jay.
I surged upright and banged my head with my fist “Of course she’s in a night club! May be if I could watch her dance I could tell the songs from the rhythms of the music, the tunes in her eyes, maybe tell that the song meant something to her, a memory I can isolate, narrow down the kind of place and the era. I don’t know what to do, he’s hurting her because of me, who I am, I made it happen; we’re fishing again.”
“No” said Jay, “it’s simpler than that, he may want you to find her, is there an appropriate night club, somewhere with memories or somewhere apt to him? Does it ring any bells Monster? I want to help you really I do.”
I believed him, and with a sense of triumph because I knew where he was leading me and his guess was not a guess and there for reliable, there was only one place ‘apt’, but I would still have to hunt for it.
I searched Jays face for evidence of his sincerity, he really wanted to make this as easy as possible, I said “She was raped in a night club some years ago, I don’t know where, could have been Liverpool. I’m guessing he took her back there, to that time and place. Do you know where?”
Jay looked bemused, possibly hurt; “I can’t tell you that Monster, there’s no way for me to know. A police report might have been filed by the other girl.”
“The other girl?” I said. Jay had slipped up; he would expect me to quiz him on it.
Jay looked cool, “You said there was another girl involved.” Jay flexed his fingers and made a cage out of them, smiling, I was sure he didn’t realise he was unconsciously signifying a trap
“I must of” I replied, disconcerted by Jays charming exposure of what was on his mind.
Jay looked disconcerted too; I wondered if he had seen through me. “Jon, you know I’ve never let you down, remember when I wouldn’t serve scouse some draw and he insulted you and you fought him, I joined in when he had you in that head lock, we took care of him and threw him out. I’ve never let you down, we’re solid. I wouldn’t let you down ever if I had a choice.”
A little touched I replied “Just do what you have to do Jay, as I said to Kieran and Frazer when they were ripping off my grass; if you feel you have to take then take, just don’t take the piss.” I started to roll a fag.
Jay’s eyes went far away “I would never let you down, not in my heart, we go way back. Some times when we help each other, we can’t even say.”
I always wanted to trust Jay, never quite sure I could, or any one else for that matter. Caught in the past I had a thought, as I spoke I got carried away, I lit my fag and spun circles of smoke, dotted the red tip in the air like I was drawing a map, a plan of action. “We should bring the streets to God. What do we know, skip diving, begging, rolling dog ends, drugs, fighting, improvised weapons, shoplifting, burglary; we have a knowledge he isn’t as conversant with, he should fight on our ground not the other way. Drugs of all sorts, known or invented, can give us an edge in speed of thought or imagination, increase strength. I have lock picks for the advantage of surprise, I have a survival manual with every kind of home made weapon and explosive, we can leave here and lie low, we can squat, we can survive anywhere, in all three worlds.” With that I flicked ash on the floor, watched it sail, land and disintegrate with the thought of destruction. My little bombshell.
I looked at Jay “I’m going to make a Gollum to find Jane; we are going to be busy with other things. I will make him small and he can go unnoticed.”
Jay looked intent and put his hands in the air “Okay; what ever a Gollum is.”
I looked him in the eyes and replied “A