Free The Everything Orgasm Book by Amy Cooper Page A

arousal map. How do you define yourself as an erotic being? Here are some questions that will help you gain more understanding of your unique arousal map:
When have you felt the most desire or pleasure?
What places, times of day, or partners have aroused you the most?
How is your current sexual life similar to or different from your past sexual life?
What things currently increase or decrease your desire?
What is the perfect erotic situation for you?
    Exploring Sexual Thoughts and Feelings
    One way to start exploring your body's response to sexual stimulation is by examining your sexual thoughts and feelings. Some say that the mind is the most erogenous zone of all. Some people report being capable of having an orgasm solely through fantasizing, without any accompanying physical stimulation. If you haven't been using your mind to help get you turned on, then you should consider giving it more focus. This is particularly true if you have any difficulty sustaining arousal or achieving orgasm. Sexual thoughts and feelings come in many forms. Here are a few:
Being in love or lust and thinking about the object of your desire.
Mental images of something or someone that turns you on. Fantasies of something erotic happening to you.
Fantasies of witnessing something erotic.
Anticipating sexual touch by yourself or another.
Anticipating a sexual encounter with someone you lust after.
    Exercise: Let your mind wander and welcome any sexual thoughts or feelings. Make a mental note about the nature of each. Are there any recurring themes? What is your emotional reaction to any of your fantasies? Feel free to improvise, creating new mental images or fantasies to add to the images your mind spontaneously creates. See how this influences your overall state of arousal.
    Many people inhibit their sexual thoughts and fantasies out of fear. As long as you are able to clearly differentiate fantasy from reality, your sexual thoughts and feelings will not get you into trouble. Actual sexual behaviors, on the other hand, do need careful consideration so that you stay safe and do not endanger others. You may find yourself getting turned on by thoughts or fantasies that you know better than to pursue in reality. This is completely normal. It is very common to get aroused by taboo scenarios or even patently unsafe behaviors. Just because the idea of something turns you on, it does not mean you will ever want or feel compelled to act it out. It is important to remember that when you fantasize, you are not harming yourself or others, so you have a right to enjoy whatever your mind comes up with.
    If you find that a fantasy of yours creates icky feelings, you will need to address this so that the uncomfortable feelings won't diminish your sexual arousal. One option is simply to try to avoid focusing on any distressing fantasies. There are limitless ways to become aroused, and if one isn't working for you, you may be able to shift your focus to find another. Bringing your attention to physical sensations might help. Or you might actively create a fantasy that is more comfortable for you.
    If you find that you cannot get comfortable with certain fantasies that turn you on, then you may benefit from exploring your uneasiness with a sex therapist. Such exploration may help you get to the root of your discomfort. This might enable you to more easily enjoy the eroticism your fantasies can provide for you. Alternatively, you may discover something in your self-exploration that changes the troubling fantasy or its power to turn you on.
    Alert
    If you are afraid of acting on a sexual thought or feeling that would get you into trouble, then you should seek professional help. It is important to recognize when you do not have control over your behavior with regard to certain sexual thoughts and feelings.
Getting Up Close and Personal
    Knowing how your body likes to be touched is an important part of knowing yourself and getting in touch with your sexuality. You learned