Free The Amazing Tales of Wildcat Arrows by Dara Joy

IT BLENDS—"
    "Any unusual traits?" Kerreth interrupted her.
    "MANY.
TEE-HEE-HEE
."
    Lucky nodded.
There
was their Minmei. Back again and ditsy as ever. She reckoned pleasure droids were programmed to lose their patience as a way to increase the illusion that they were like real men.
    Slick might be dripping testosterone—but ol'
Slowhand—san
looked like he was about to pop a cork.
    "Care to tell me a few?" he gritted out.
    Lucky, knowing what was coming, made ready to abridge the response for him.
    "SKEKZIN IS STRUCTURED AS A PHOTOSYNTHETIC. EUKARYOTIC ORGANISM…"
    "A plant." Lucky helpfully translated.
    Kerreth crossed his arms and leaned back against one of the consoles. Clearly, he was prepared to wait it out.
    "… WHOSE FIBER IS UTILIZED IN THE PRODUCTION OF…"
    "Woven." Lucky supplied.
    "… THESE FIBERS BY WAY OF THE PROCESS OF WEFT AND WARP…"
    "Fabric."
    "… SKEKZIN IS INDIGENOUS TO DUMFUG 8; GROWING EXCLUSIVELY ON THE SANDY TERRACES OF THE SLOPES OF—"
    "Whoah." Kerreth stood. "Are you saying this fiber only grows in this one place and nowhere else?"
    "THAT IS WHAT I AM SAYING, SLOWHAND-SAN."
    Minmei put on the screen a composite rendering of the fabric based on the fiber sample.
    Ug-leeee.
    "Is the fabric exported?"
    "NO, SLOWHAND-SAN. SKEKZIN IS CONSIDERED A SACRED PLANT ON DUMFUG 8. FABRIC WOVEN FROM THIS PLANT CAN ONLY BE WORN BY A DUMFUG."
    "No argument there." Lucky viewed the fabric with distaste.
    A huge grin spread across Kerreth's face. He could learn to love that nasty fabric because it just brought that wondrous hunk of miadne that much closer to his hands. "We just got real lucky, Lucky."
    "That was the clue we were hoping for?"
    Kerreth nodded. "That was our clue."
    "Good. You know, you have helped us, Slick. I'm almost glad we brought you onboard."
    Kerreth winked at her. "It was sure
Lucky
for me."
    Her cheeks colored. He was playing her all right.
    "Minmei, send a course for Dumfug 8 to Clugot." Lucky punched the link to the engine room. "Clugot, we're heading to Dumfug 8; we'll need all the speed you can give us. If we got this far on the hunt, others will too. We can't afford to lose that prize."
    "Urrr." Clugot out.
    Lucky stretched, spreading her arms wide to work the kinks out of her back. "Now we can relax until—"
    "MINMEI HAS EMERGENCY! MINMEI HAS EMERGENCY!"
    Lucky snapped upright. "
What
? We just started out!"
    SpinDrift waddled by. "Oh, it can't be anything too serious; you know our Minmei."
    "THE SHIP WILL EXPLODE IN FORTY-FOUR POINT THREE MINUTES.
TEE-HEE-HEE
."
    "WHAT?!"
    "What?"
    "Braaaak!"
    Everyone started talking at once. Except for Spin who was running around in circles clucking hysterically.
    "What is going on?" Lucky demanded of the console.
    "What is the danger?" Kerreth snapped the question more like an order. Even though this wasn't his ship, he damn well knew how to captain one.
    "Ur?" Even Clugot wanted some answers. Quick.
    "
YOU
ARE THE DANGER, SLOWHAND-SAN."
    Kerreth blinked. Once. "What is that supposed to mean, exactly?"
    "YOU ARE A MASTERSTROKE 6000. IS THAT NOT CORRECT?"
    "Yes!" he responded, warily.
    "MASTERSTROKE 6000'S ARE THE MOST ADVANCED PLEASURE DROIDS EVER BUILT. YEARS OF RESEARCH WENT INTO THE DESIGN AND IMPLEMENTATION OF A LIFELIKE AI THAT CAN REPLICATE HUMANOID SEXUAL INTERACTIONS TO WITHIN .05846 DEGREE OF ACCURACY."
    Kerreth, wise now to Minmei's roundabout explanations, barked out, "Get on with it!"
    "YOU ARE VERY EXPENSIVE. SLOWHAND-SAN."s
    Lucky's brow furrowed. "To use?"
    "TO DEVELOPE. BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU WERE BUILT WITH A FAILSAFE MECHANISM."
    SpinDrift screeched to a halt. "What kind of fail-safe?"
    Lucky added, "Will he shut down or something?"
    "NOT LIKELY, MISS LUCKY AND MASTER FLOOP. HIS POWER CENTER IS SEATED IN HIS TITANIUM CROTCH."
    "Get out of here." Lucky and Spin both looked in the direction of the object of all the fuss.
    Kerreth glared back at them.
    "IT IS A FACT." Minmei went on. "THERE IS A THERMO-NUCLEAR DEVICE IMPLANTED