Jennifer’s other neighbors. The guy gave me a nod as he passed by, and then pressed the elevator button and stood there. I knocked again, wondering what was taking her so long. A couple seconds later, Jennifer opened her door.
“Hi,” she said with a wide, welcoming smile.
“Hi.” I tried to sound enthusiastic about seeing her, but in reality, all I could think about was how much I didn’t want to have sex with her. The only girl I wanted to be with, both physically and emotionally, lived literally 25 feet away from where I was standing, and was hopefully not home at this moment.
“Come in,” said Jennifer, leading me into the apartment I’d been in at least a dozen times, the same apartment that now felt like a prison cell for me. “Sit down. Want a beer?”
“I’m good,” I replied.
“You seem nervous.”
“Well, the thing is…”
Jennifer sat down beside me and put her hand on my knee. “Tell me why you’re here, Danny. Why’d you call and ask to come over?”
I looked right into her eyes. They seemed to be begging for me to say what I’d come here to say. I could tell her I wanted her to have my baby and we’d probably be in her bedroom with our clothes off within thirty seconds. I’d have sex with her for a few weeks, hopefully get her pregnant, and collect millions of dollars. It seemed simple, effortless, too easy, almost.
“Danny, talk to me,” she said, “I miss you. I miss being with you,” she began to seduce.
I opened my mouth and was about to deliver the news that would make this woman the happiest person on earth. The words “let’s have a baby” were inside me. Actually, they were sitting there in my throat, waiting for my mouth to speak them. But I couldn’t get them to come out.
“What?” she said with a soft giggle, “just tell me.”
“I think…”
“Yeah?” She looked like the anticipation was going to kill her.
“I think…”
She was smiling from ear to ear, and I now found myself looking not at Jennifer’s happy, hopeful face. All I could see was Courtney’s face, the face that made me want to be the best guy in the world.
“I think I should go.” Then I stood up. Jennifer turned white and the look on her face instantly went from hopeful to appalled.
“Why?” she managed, tears already forming in her eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Jen. I came here to…well…forget it. I was thinking…”
“Thinking you want me to have a baby?” she said, standing up and taking my face in her hands.
“I thought I could do it, but I just can’t,” I said sadly. I took her hands away and kissed them. Then I walked to the door, and just before I left I turned around and said, “I hope things work out for you. I really do.”
It made me physically sick to see her standing there crying when I left, but the relief I felt was almost overwhelming. I looked down the hall toward Courtney’s apartment and I knew I did the right thing.
Chapter 9
As I walked down Wells Street in my Nine West sandals (since my Jimmy Choos were no longer wearable), I passed all the trendy restaurants I’d eaten at over the years. I’d had so many good times on this street with girlfriends, dates, my ex-husband, John, and even Max. But tonight wasn’t about a good time. Tonight was a job. My task of the evening; meet Max for dinner at Topo Gigio and get back together. Not because I loved him and realized I made a huge mistake breaking up with him, but for a reason that was unimaginably unethical; collect my insane mother’s money. The anxiety I was feeling at this moment was ten times worse than it was the night I was headed to Morton’s to get engaged.
Walking briskly and with determination, I suddenly bumped into something that caused pain so sharp, I could barely catch my breath.
“Are you okay?” I heard a woman shout.
When I turned to look at her, I realized I knew her. She was Jill Goldfarb, one of Ma’s friend’s daughters, and I had just slammed into her baby