Free Morningstar by S. L. Armstrong Page B

reasons I know not. All about it is strange and wondrous—and praise to the Creator for it—yet I cannot yet fathom its purpose." I looked up into those wise eyes, the soft white of his wings a backdrop to his dark hair, and I willed my misgivings to melt away under his loving gaze.
    "Hast thou brought thy concerns to God?" he asked, kissing the palm on my hand.
    "How can I question Him?" I replied, running my thumb over his bottom lip. "If He hast not spoken of things to us, He wilt not speak of them if I ask!"
    "But thou canst go to Him. Thou canst be near Him and feel His love wash over thee." His eyes were closed as he spoke, and a peaceful smile was on his lips; I knew he was basking in the memory of our Lord, and I felt myself become angry with him.
    "His love only maketh me forget while I am near Him." I strengthened my grip on his face, and his eyes opened, an emotion I had never seen lighting his fair face. "When I leave, the same questions continue to plague me. I do not need that kind of love!" I shouted, and as soon as the words passed my lips, I regretted them.
    It was then that Radueriel looked at me fearfully and recoiled. I knew that the expression was mirrored in my own face. I had just said that I did not need the love of Almighty God! "Thou shouldst not say such things!" Radueriel said needlessly, resting his weight on his knees while his hands rested on my stomach.
    "Of course not!" I yelled, suddenly angry, and I grasped his wrists in my hands tightly as I glared up at him.
    Radueriel's eyes filled with tears, though I could see that he fought them. There is nothing more heartbreaking than the tears of an angel, and it hurt so much more that I loved him as I did. It also incensed me further.
    "Calm thyself, Morningstar. Please!" he begged me. "If the love of God is more than thou needest, then come take solace with mine."
    He was once again offering me up his body in which to quell my anger. And I took it. I flipped our positions and pinned his wrists above his head, my large hand easily restraining his more slender wrists. Radueriel's wings were spread beneath him and his hair fanned out over the feathers and onto the soft cloth under him. His face was flushed with arousal and with fear - two emotions I always inspired in him, it seems. Looking back on the later parts of our love, I can see now that he needed my anger, for he could not express such emotion. His overpowering love of our Lord prevented him from it, but in me, he found the fury he could not feel and he craved it.
    Radueriel parted his thighs immediately for me, offering himself up as if he were a sacrifice to my rage.
    In a way, I suppose he was.
    With my free hand, I took myself in hand and pressed into him, stifling his initial cry with a ferocious kiss. If there was pain in Heaven, other than the loss of God's trust, it was this moment of joining. In the years after my 'Fall', I pondered why this was. We were angelic beings in a land of paradise and peace; why should we be made to feel pain upon joining our bodies and expressing love? The only answer I have found is that it showed us, very early on, that with pleasure or happiness came pain or sorrow, for even God's love came with those.
    I thrust into him again and again, using my teeth on his lips and neck, heedless of his cries as I possessed him. He was needy under my free hand, thrusting himself into the tight circle of my fingers. I looked down at him as I continued to take him, marveling at his beauty even as he surrendered to my coarse touch. His head was thrown to the side, exposing his bruised throat - the marks of my teeth blossoming brightly against the pale flesh, and his eyes were half-closed, the dark lashes hiding his sapphire gaze. Those swollen lips were parted and his cheeks were stained crimson as he gasped and called my name.
    My body tensed as I filled him with my seed, and my hand was quickly coated in his fluids. Radueriel became pliant under my straining body,