get a grip on myself. My heart keeps pounding, palms sweating all afternoon. If I don't get this right, I won't be back in Arizona until August. I try to remind myself that isn't so bad -- it's just a few more months and, hey, maybe it's even a few more months with Shane.
But I still want this.
I can't turn off that competitive drive in me.
And you know what?
I'm going to get it.
***
I'm one of the last people to walk into the rink a few minutes later, and my eyes immediately search out and find two other girls dressed in goalie gear. I'm positive one of them is the apparent hockey prodigy Erica Wunders. Must be nice to know you have a spot on the team locked up and tryouts are nothing more than a formality.
Coach Dobrov walks in a few minutes later, letting the door slam empathically behind her as it echoes throughout the nearly-empty arena.
She walks up to us without a word, scans the line of girls in front of her -- I try not to wilt under her gaze when it lands on me -- then nods once before blowing the whistle hanging around her neck.
"Welcome," she says in a voice that feels anything but. "I'm very pleased with the turnout today. Best I've seen in my ten years coaching here. My assistant coaches will be in shortly so that we may begin our tryouts. Until then, I'd like to assess your conditioning. Hit the ice. Far goal line."
I already know what's coming -- it's the same sprinting drill Shane's had me do countless times, the one that I always give him a dirty look for suggesting.
We're supposed to skate from the goal line to the blue line and back, then to the first red line and back, and so on until we've skated to each line on the ice and back to the beginning.
And we're supposed to do this as many times as she wants us to before she tells us to stop.
Shane never had me go more than three full laps, and I'm pretty sure I'll die if Coach Dobrov wants us to do anything more than that.
Somehow I find myself lined up in between both goalies -- only two of us will make it, and apparently Erica Wunders is already one of them, so it's down to me and one other girl.
I won't lie; I'd definitely been hoping that there would only be two people trying out for the position and I'd essentially be guaranteed a spot and that would be that.
But instead, I guess I'm going to have to actually be okay at this.
The whistle blows and we take off skating, and the first lap isn't so bad. Maybe Shane was onto something when he kept making me do this drill after all. I breeze through it and it's only a few minutes later that I notice a few girls have already dropped out, including one of the goalies.
My eyes widen slightly and I wobble just a bit as I lose my focus on the ice. That's got to be the girl who's my real competition for the spot -- no way Erica Wunders wouldn't be in good enough shape to finish out a drill she's so used to doing year after year. And if this girl can't hack it, well, I'm pretty sure I've already got this tryout in the bag.
I smile and fly through the rest of the drill with ease after my newfound confidence gives me the boost I don't even really know I need.
Coach Dobrov blows the whistle, ends the sprints and divides us up into individual groups based on what position we're trying out for. I'm down at one end of the rink with Erica, the other girl and an assistant coach I've never seen before.
"Erica, help me set this up, would you?" The new coach nods at the girl who'd dropped out of the drill and my jaw drops.
That had been Erica ?
She's in such bad shape right before the start of the season?
No, that can't make sense.
Unless...
Well, the only logical explanation is that she'd stopped because she knew she had her spot wrapped up and didn't need to keep going.
But I can't ever imagine doing that, even in her position.
That's the kind of person Coach Dobrov wants on her team?
Then again, when you have the kind of talent Erica