Free Dining With The Doctor: The Unauthorized Whovian Cookbook by Chris-Rachael Oseland

savory version, mix together your minced garlic, salt, and room temperature butter. (You’re welcome to add a teaspoon of Herbes de Provence, Italian seasoning, or your favorite garlic bread herb blend.) Generously coat the inside of each slice. According to The Doctor, humans are the only species to invent edible ball bearings. (You can find them in the cake decorating aisle of your grocery store.) In his honor, carefully push them into the bread’s crust in order to make the familiar Dalek armor ridges. If you can't find edible ball bearings, you can always resort to dabbing on mayonnaise to symbolize the armor eggs.
    If you’re making the sweet version, mix your cinnamon, sugar, salt, and butter then generously slather it inside each slice.
    Either way, bake your bread for 10 minutes at 400F/205C.
    If you're making the sweet version, the moment you pull it from the oven, carefully lay chocolate chips on the surface to make the Dalek armor’s dots.
    For the finishing touches, start by cutting a white coffee straw in half. Soften a chocolate button or oversized chocolate chip in the microwave (1-2 seconds) then gently press the coffee straw into it. This makes your plunger arm. Poke the arms into your Dalek. If you have pipe cleaners, wrap a scrap of one around one end of the other half of your coffee straw. This makes your eggbeater arm.
    Complete the effect by adding a pair of small white gumdrops to the top of the Dalek’s head for the antenna. If you have any Cheerios, pretzel sticks, and Nutella at home, you can use those to make an edible eye stalk. Don't stress, though. The antenna and arms are enough to make your Dalek instantly recognizable.
    This genuinely edible recipe also happens to be cheap, easy, and darn near guaranteed to illicit a giggle.
     
     

Dalek Sec's Head (S6E6 - Evolution of the Daleks)
     

1 head of cauliflower
8 fat carrots or 8 fat sausages
1 hardboiled egg
1 slice of pitted black olive
3 cups water
1 tsp red food coloring
prepared coleslaw from Series 4, The Doctor’s Daughter
     
    This is really more of an edible centerpiece sculpture than a recipe. It’s hard to resist making something as oddly grotesque as Dalek Sec’s head.
    Mix the red food coloring and water. Soak your cauliflower in it overnight, turning it a couple of times to make sure the cauliflower is evenly coated. This will be Dalek Sec’s brain. You could always skip this step by substituting a head of red cabbage, but cabbage doesn’t quite have the eerily brain-like texture of cauliflower.
    The meaty version looks a little more authentic. You’ll want to fully cook half a dozen fat sausages. Arrange them around the cauliflower like Dalek Sec’s tentacles.
    Carefully cut the remaining two sausages into strips and arrange them down the middle and across the width of the head, ending in each of the sausages. You may need to carve the sausages a bit in order to make it look like the meaty head strips flow into them naturally. Have fun with it. Worst case scenario, you have to cook a second batch of sausages. Pin everything in place with toothpicks then snip off the ends to maintain the illusion.
    If you’re a vegetarian or allergic to nitrates, substitute thick peeled carrots for the sausages. If you can find some red carrots at your local farmer’s market, you’ll still get a lot of the effect, plus you’ll impress any of your friends who haven't seen red carrots in real life. (Spoiler alert: they stain anything they’re cooked with a dark red, but somehow still taste exactly like ordinary orange carrots.)
    Now carefully cut an egg sized hole in your cauliflower or cabbage for Dalek Sec’s cyclops eye. Wedge the egg in there nice and tight. Oh so carefully cut another hole in your hardboiled egg for the olive pupil. You can also substitute a googly eye from the cake decorating section of your grocery store.
    The first time I made this, I tried to get clever by putting the cauliflower on top of an extra