Free Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest by A. Lee Martinez

the blade of the sword beside him. “But I’m thinking they gave me the sword because, in our pairing, I’m the little guy, and the NQB thought I’d need something to keep up with you.”
    She grinned. “You always know the right thing to say, don’t you?”
    â€œNot always. But usually.”
    She waved the wand around. “Alakazam! Presto! For the honor of Grayskull! It’s clobberin’ time!”
    Nothing happened.
    â€œCareful where you point that thing,” said Troy. “You don’t know what it does.”
    â€œWould’ve been nice if it came with instructions.” She shoved it back in its box, leaned back, and decided to enjoy the ride. The situation wasn’t ideal. She was probably going to die on this quest. But maybe not. If she did have only a few days to live, it would be foolish to waste them being grouchy. She gave herself permission to enjoy the ride.
    There was an incredible sense of freedom and adventure that came with riding in the Chimera, the top down, the wind blowing in her hair, the freeway open before her like a doorway to the world beyond.
    That faded a bit when they were caught in a traffic jam five minutes later. The road that had seemed so welcoming before now only felt like a sizzling, sucking slab of asphalt doing its best to keep them from leaving town. That was only her imagination, though she was on a quest, so maybe a wizard had used a curse to close the two left lanes and bottleneck the flow of traffic. Or maybe it was just the regularly scheduled construction that had been going on for weeks now. But she couldn’t dismiss the evil wizard idea. Wizards were tricky like that.
    She stifled her annoyance. Troy didn’t seem to have any annoyance to stifle. He signaled a car ahead of them that it was safe to merge.
    â€œYou don’t have to keep doing that,” said Helen.
    â€œDoing what?” he asked.
    â€œLetting everyone in.”
    â€œIt’s called being a courteous driver, Hel.”
    â€œOne or two cars is being courteous,” she replied. “That’s your seventh.”
    â€œYou’re counting?”
    â€œI’m estimating.”
    â€œSeven’s pretty specific for an estimate.”
    â€œSo I was counting,” she said, “and maybe you don’t care, but the people behind us are probably getting a touch irritated.”
    Troy nodded. “Good point.”
    He pulled ahead. The car moved a few feet before having to stop again.
    â€œThere. Happy now?” he asked.
    She laid her head back on her seat and stared at the blue sky above. “Ecstatic.”
    â€œIs something wrong, Helen?” he asked.
    â€œJust seems like a lousy way to start a quest,” she said. “Being swallowed alive by traffic.”
    Troy chuckled. “And they were never heard from again.”
    She closed her eyes. “Wake me when the dragons show up.”
    Once Troy got serious about it, he guided the Chimera through clogged traffic like a ship in choppy waters. They didn’t get above thirty miles an hour, but given the circumstances, it seemed as if they were soaring. The strangest part was that Troy managed to do this while remaining a courteous driver. He didn’t cut anyone off. He didn’t ride anyone’s tailgate. It was proof to Helen that he’d been born under an anti-curse, chosen by the gods above to do great things, and while she was just along for the ride, she wasn’t complaining.
    He worked his way across two lanes of traffic to their exit ramp. By all logic the Chimera should’ve come out with a few bumps and scrapes. But the ride had been effortlessly smooth, almost as if the other cars weren’t even there. If morning traffic was the first beast encountered on their legendary journey, Troy slipped from its jaws with such skill and grace, it was probably worth a sonnet or two.
    They pulled off the exit ramp and into a downtown