Free If a Tree Falls at Lunch Period by Gennifer Choldenko

blurts out.
    "Ten? If you have ten bathrooms, how do you decide which one to use? Are they color coded?" Walk asks.
    "Maybe you pee blue in the blue bathroom and taupe in the taupe bathroom," Kirsten suggests.
    "What color do you pee if it's wallpaper with a pattern?" Jade asks.
    "Good question," Kirsten answers.
    "No, really. How many bathrooms do you have?" Jade's weird green eyes focus on Kirsten.
    "Three and a half," Kirsten says.
    "A half a bathroom. What is that?" Walk asks.
    "Just for one cheek," Kirsten explains.
    "What you do with the other cheek?" Jade wants to know.
    "Strictly for show," Kirsten answers.
    "Can't turn the other cheek if you only have one," Matteo offers.
    "But there are problems with one-cheek butts," Kirsten says, her face all serious now. "You have to get your pants tailor-made, go online to buy special chairs."
    "Are there support groups?" Jade asks.
    "Yes," Kirsten says. "And a website, onecheekbuttocksdotcom, for all your one-cheek accessories."
    By the time Dorarian appears with her blue fur thermos, everyone is cracking up. Then they all start walking to the library, like Kirsten's been hanging with them for weeks. This is so weird.
    "You guys done with Balderis's extra credit?" Matteo asks.
    "Just putting the finishing touches, buffing it all up, man," Walk tells him.
    Matteo looks at Walk then Kirsten. "You're not done, are you?"
    Walk gives him an ugly look. "Shaddup," he says.
    "What did you pick?" Matteo asks.
    "Cloning," Walk tells him. "I'm for it because the world needs more MLKs, JFKs, and Boutros Boutros-Ghalis."
    "Boutros Boutros-Ghali? Who is he? She? Them?" Kirsten asks.
    "Him. It's one guy. He ran the United Nations," Walk tells her.
    "Really? Boutros Boutros-Ghali like I could be Kirsten Kirsten-McKenna?"
    "Hair Hair-Boy," Hair Boy says.
    Jade flips her skateboard over. She taps her leg like she's calling her dog. "Here, here boy."
    "Shut up," Hair Boy says, jumping on his skateboard and tearing after her.

    In the library, Walk pulls Kirsten aside. "Hey, you gotta finish your extra credit this weekend, okay?"
    "I thought we were done?" Kirsten says.
    "No, we're not done!" Walk shouts at her.
    "It was a joke, Walker Walker. I'll get it finished, okay?"

    When the bell rings, Matteo and Walk head to the gym.
    "Good call," Matteo tells Walk.
    "What?" Walk asks.
    "Inviting Kirsten."
    "Oh, that. Sure. I knew all along she was our kind. I got an instinct for people. You just sit back and watch, man, just sit back and watch."

Twenty-Nine
     

Kirsten
    I'm emailing Walk. He doesn't have IM, plus he shares a computer with his mom so I can't write any weird jokes. "No butt jokes" is what he said. At least he has email. Matteo doesn't have email or a computer or anything. Who doesn't have a computer except for maybe if you're Amish?
    "Kirsten?" My mom comes into my room with her bowl of air-popper popcorn. "Are you busy?"
    "Sort of."
    "What are you doing?"
    I look up at her. She is trying to read the screen, which so far only says,
I am so
    "Who are you emailing?" She pops a piece of popcorn into her mouth.
    "A friend."
    "You know, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Rebecca Dunkel called me this afternoon. She told me something I'm"—she sucks in her breath—"a little concerned about."
    "What?"
    "She says that you don't sit with the girls anymore. You sit with the boys. And everyone wonders why."
    "Oh, that. Don't worry, Mom. Things are fine." I turn back to my computer.
    "But I
am
worried. What are you doing with these boys, Kirsten?"
    My head snaps back. "Oh god, Mom. They're my friends. It's not like that. It isn't."
    She looks hard at me, her mouth chewing tiny bites one hundred miles an hour.
    "Okay, okay. I thought that's what you'd say. But you know reputations are a delicate thing, Kirsten. Once you get a bad reputation, it can stay with you all the way through high school."
    "Yeah, but it's a lie."
    "Even if it is a lie."
    "So what am I supposed to do? I can't keep