Free SAHM I am by Meredith Efken

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Tags: Fiction, General, Family Life, Domestic Fiction, Christian fiction, Religious, Christian, Female friendship, Urban Life, Suburban Life, Mothers, Housewives, Electronic discussion groups, Electronic mail messages

stay.
    Dulcie

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From:
P. Lorimer
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: Thanks, and a Question
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    Wow. I stand corrected. You’d think as a pastor’s wife I’d know these things by heart. But I don’t think I’m a very good pastor’s wife, really. I’m just a normal person who has a lot to learn. Thanks, Dulcie.
    Love,
    Phyllis

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From:
Zelia Muzuwa
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
[SAHM I Am] URGENT: need help removing cat tower from son's head
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    Griffith stuck his head inside our neighbor’s kitty scratching-post tower and I can’t get it off. Any advice? He’s outside with the neighbor, screaming and trying to walk. Just ran into a tree, I think—gotta go.
    Z

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From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
Zelia Muzuwa
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I AM] URGENT: need help removing cat tower from son's head
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    Why on earth are you e-mailing us? Call an ambulance! Dulcie

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From:
Rosalyn Ebberly
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I AM] URGENT: need help removing cat tower from son's head
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    Don’t panic, Zelia. I know exactly what to do. First, remove the carpeting and any extra posts or platforms. Then simply take a wood clamp and insert the ends in the hole, on each side of his neck. Crank the clamp apart and it will crack the wood, allowing you to ease his head out. Watch for splinters. In fact, it would be a good idea to try to work a washcloth up inside the tower to protect his eyes. Can you open up one of the ends of the tower so you can reach his face?
    Rosalyn
    “She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
    Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)

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From:
Brenna L.
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I AM] URGENT: need help removing cat tower from son's head
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    Well, if he got his head in, he can wiggle it out. Offer some chocolate—that should motivate him.
    Brenna

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From:
The Millards
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I AM] URGENT: need help removing cat tower from son's head
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    Try packing his head with ice. It’s supposed to relieve swelling, and it will numb him. Then if you pull wrong, it won’t hurt as bad.
    Good luck!
    Jocelyn

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From:
Zelia Muzuwa
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I AM] URGENT: need help removing cat tower from son's head
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    Well, ladies, MacGyver you are not. Griffith wouldn’t hold still for the clamps—which we had to borrow from the neighbor, since Tristan owns nothing more than a hammer and a screwdriver. And the poor thing can’t wiggle out—he keeps trying, but I’m afraid he will hurt himself. We did remove the carpet, but we can’t get the platforms and bars off without either pounding or using a saw—either of which sends him into hysterics. And there’s not enough room for ice. So I don’t know what to do.
    I called Tristan at work, and he is on his way home. The pediatrician said if we can’t work his head out, we should take him to the hospital. But I don’t think he will fit in the car. Dulcie might have the best suggestion yet—call an ambulance.
    The neighbors who are home are all gathered outside, watching and taking pictures. They don’t have any good ideas, either, although one old lady suggested we soak a rag with chloroform and stick it up the hole to put him to sleep and then cut off the tower with a buzz saw. Remind me not to let her babysit….
    Z

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From:
Zelia Muzuwa
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
[SAHM I AM] Free at last…
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    Tristan got home, just as a Channel 11 News van pulled up. He tried to make them go away, but the neighbors were only too willing to offer comments. When Griffith heard that the TV people were here, he begged to talk to