Free Boy Crazy by Shay Kassa Page B

Andy muttered, but still took the can. “Thanks.”
    “So… what do the straight guys do when they get dumped?” Joe said jokingly. “I’m totally here for you, man, but this is sort of out of my area of expertise, if you know what I mean.”
    Andy chuckled half-heartedly. “Shit, I dunno. I haven’t been dumped since high school. What do gays do, dress up in sequins and go dancing?”
    “Yeah, well, much as I’d like to lend you my tights… Personally, I get drunk and watch porn. It’s less annoying and you can do it from the comfort and convenience of your own home.” Joe grabbed his own beer, and eyed him cautiously. “No concert, then?”
    Andy thought for a minute. Going to the concert would just make him feel worse. The alternative on a Friday night, of going out and getting trashed, held no appeal. “Fuck it,” he said, and downed the beer. “Drunken porn it is.”

    *****

    It took hours for him to feel better. Joe did his best to keep Andy’s spirits up, and they spent all their time mocking the actors and actresses in the porn movies. As the current one finished, Joe flicked through the DVDs and dug out a few more possible selections.
    “I’ve seen all of these,” Andy said. “Seriously man, have we got anything else?”
    “Well… I got my own stash, but I kinda don’t think you want to watch the stuff I like.”
    Andy tossed his empty can to the floor and grabbed the last beer. “Who cares? I don’t care. Just show me something, Joe, I don’t give a shit any more.” He slumped on the couch dejectedly.
    Joe shrugged, and disappeared into his room for a moment. He returned with a handful of DVDs that had more oiled men on their covers than usual.
    “Okay, this is my favorite.” He handed one to Andy. “It’s, uh, got a lot of guys in it.”
    “Just play it, asshole.”
    All the women were starting to grate on his nerves. They all reminded him of Carla. Andy sucked down the beer like it was his last drink, and waited for the movie.
    After the usual mediocre setup, the two guys started getting hot and heavy. Andy watched without any real interest. His mind drifted to Carla, and to their two years together, and it suddenly struck him that he didn’t really feel as bad as he thought he should. She wasn’t completely gone, just… a smaller part of his life, now. After the shock was over - or numbed by the alcohol - he felt empty instead of really sad.
    Maybe she was right. Carla was pretty smart. It still meant he was going to get reacquainted with his right hand all over again. He sighed. A friend with benefits would be great right about now.
    “Uh, Andy?”
    He glanced over at Joe, who looked a little weirded out. “Yeah?”
    His friend looked pointedly at his crotch. Andy glanced down and realized that his dick was thinking for itself while his mind was elsewhere.
    “Aw dammit… Sorry, man. I was kinda planning on being with Carla tonight.” Andy shuffled around, turning himself away.
    Joe seemed nonplussed. “It’s cool, I understand. I mean, you just got dumped.” He paused for a moment. “You know, uh, I could help you with that.”
    “What?”
    “Well, I mean, this is sort of my area of expertise.”
    Andy turned back to look at his friend in disbelief. “Joe, are you offering to suck my dick?”
    Joe rubbed the back of his head and wouldn’t meet his eye. “Yeah, I guess I am,” he said quietly.
    “…Holy shit. Like, seriously. Holy fucking shit.” Andy stared at his friend through a haze of alcohol and disbelief. “You, Joe, guy who never ever wants to go out at all, never brings guys home, never has sex as far as I know? Who are you and what have you done with my roommate?”
    “Andy, I’m willing to do you a favor because: your girlfriend of two years broke up with you, you’re my friend, and I think I can remember how to suck a dick pretty well. What’s the problem?” said Joe, sounding a little offended. “You know most guys would jump at the chance