Free Picking up the Pieces by Jessica Prince

him in an email. By cell phone wasn’t that much better, but it was the best option on a list of shitty options. I hit the send button on the email stating that I really needed him to call me, or at least answer his phone when I called. That I had some very important news I needed to tell him. I drew the line on begging and telling him I loved him. I made those simple requests and kept it at that.
    Three days later, I hadn’t gotten a reply. No email. No phone call. I allowed myself only one call a day for those three days. I made a deal with myself that I wasn’t going to leave it in a voicemail. I could just see that going well, Hey there stranger. Guess what, you knocked me up, daddio... Call me back…
    “Fuck him,” Savannah called out from my dorm room bed. “If he’s too big of an ass to respond or call back when you’ve told him you need to talk to him, then fuck him. You don’t need to bust your ass trying to tell him something he doesn’t want to hear.”
    “Is it totally pathetic that, even though I knew he wouldn’t answer, I still hoped?”
    “No. That’s not pathetic. You are not pathetic.”
    I was so tired of crying by that point; I felt weak and needy. I hated feeling that way. I always tried so hard not to depend on anyone else for happiness because I knew from experience that could be taken away in a blink of an eye. The fact that Luke’s lack of response affected me so deeply was turning me into a woman I didn’t want to be. “What am I going to do?”
    Savannah stood in front of me with her hands on her hips, looking determined. “ You aren’t going to do anything. We are going to get through this. I’m going to be here every step of the way. You are going to have this baby, and I’m going to be there right by your side, helping you raise it.”
    That just made me cry even harder. “I am so damn lucky to have you.”
    “Of course you are. And I’m lucky to have you. We’re in this together, honey, you as Mommy, me as cool-ass Auntie Savvy.”
    “Auntie Savvy. I like that.” Savannah never stopped trying to make me feel better. She had her own life and didn’t need the drama I was bringing into it, but she never blinked when it came to helping me. She was consistently solid.
    “Me too. Gotta nice ring, doesn’t it!” We laughed, and she helped me fix my face so that we could go have some much needed retail therapy. We were shopping with one thing in mind… baby supplies. Our first stop was the book store to buy What to Expect When You’re Expecting . We bought two copies since Savannah was determined to learn everything she needed to learn to help me with my baby. She joked that she was going to make a kick ass daddy, and my heart opened up even more.
    ***
    The further along I got into the pregnancy, the harder things became. My morning sickness was an all-day type of thing and it didn’t end after the first trimester. The baby was growing and healthy, but my doctor wasn’t happy with the amount of weight I was losing. If it wasn’t nausea, it was wicked heartburn. If it wasn’t heartburn, it was dizzy spells. I was so sick that I ended up getting too far behind in my classes and couldn’t keep up. I made the incredibly hard decision to leave college and move back home, hoping I’d be able to start taking classes again once the baby was born. It wasn’t easy to put my education on hold, but the little peanut I was carrying around meant more to me than anything else.
    I put my foot down when Savannah informed me she was dropping out too. There was no way I was letting her give up her education just to move back home with me. Those arguments got pretty heated, and I ended up telling her that the only way I’d allow her to help me with the baby was if she stayed in school. She finally relented, although not kindly.
    Time passed, and each day was yet another day I didn’t hear from Luke. I finally gave up on him… and that was alright. Even though this pregnancy was