Free Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered by Kerry Barrett Page A

another cup of coffee to take upstairs with me. I thought I might feel better – more in control – if I had a shower and got dressed.
    As I shampooed my hair and let the warm water wash away my aches, I thought back to that first spring with Jamie.
    He was a pupil at the nearby posh boys’ school, which was why I’d not met him before. His dad had recently taken over the GP’s surgery in Loch Claddach and the family had moved to the village from Inverness.
    Jamie was studying for his exams too, so we’d often test each other on French vocab or quotes from To Kill a Mockingbird . He’d patiently explain chemistry over and over to me, while I (rather less patiently) would take him through the causes of the Second World War.
    ‘So is he your boyfriend then,’ Chloé asked one afternoon as we waited for the bus after our English exam.
    ‘No.’ I kicked at a tuft of grass. ‘He’s just a mate.’
    ‘But you do fancy him?’ Chloé teased.
    I looked down the road to see if the bus was on its way.
    ‘He’s nice,’ I muttered. ‘He makes me laugh.’
    Neither Chloé nor I had much luck with boys. Before she grew into her looks, she was tall and gawky with skinny limbs and red hair that made her stand out in any crowd. I was small and blonde – not glam blonde like Carole Murphy in our class who was fifteen and looked twenty-five – but transparently fair with a blue tinge to my skin and a boyish figure. We talked endlessly about kissing and who fancied who, but while our classmates were tormenting themselves about whether it was the right time for them to sleep with their latest flame, neither of us had ever even had a boyfriend.
    Now the vague hope that Jamie might fancy me crossed my mind. He was certainly attentive and he sought my company almost every day. I blushed at the thought and changed the subject hurriedly before Chloé caught on.
    Mum knew I was up to something. She kept asking me what I was doing with my time, and seemed to know I wasn’t spending my days with Chloé. Eventually, under her never-ending questioning, I gave in and fessed up.
    ‘There’s a boy I like,’ I said, feeling my cheeks flame.
    ‘I knew it!’ she said in triumph. ‘Does he like you?’
    ‘I think so,’ I said. ‘We haven’t – you know – done anything but we get on really well.’
    We’d been in the car at the time – I always found it easier to talk to Mum in the car, because then she couldn’t fix me with her piercing stare. Now she glanced at me, briefly, before returning her attention to the road.
    ‘There are some things you can do,’ she said.
    ‘Spells?’
    ‘Well, yes, but not…’
    I was cross.
    ‘No,’ I said firmly. ‘No spells.’
    Mum looked disappointed.
    ‘No spells,’ I said again. ‘That’s not how I want this to happen.’
    When our exam results arrived, late that summer, I ran down the hill and along the shore to find Jamie. He was standing by the entrance to the cave, flushed with success and holding his own brown envelope.
    ‘All As!’ I bellowed as I hurtled towards him.
    ‘Me too!’ he waved his envelope at me.
    He grabbed me round the waist and hugged me hard. Startled at such a display of physical affection, I stiffened then suddenly realising I liked it, I let myself relax into his arms. For such a lanky boy he was surprisingly muscular. Shocked at my confidence, I ran my hands along his back and laced my fingers through his soft wavy hair.
    ‘I couldn’t have done it without you, Esme,’ he muttered into my shoulder. Then he lifted his head and looked at me. And slowly, he bent forward and kissed me.

Chapter 14
    Now I shivered with pleasure remembering that first kiss as I stood in the shower. I’d kissed a couple (well, OK, a lot) of men since then but very few had lived up to the thrill of my first snog.
    Climbing out of the shower I wrapped myself in a towel and went into my bedroom to get dressed. Sitting on the bed I pulled my bedside cabinet drawer out all