Free Code Blues by Melissa Yi Page A

streaking juice all over his
face before finally sticking his fingers in Alex's mouth.
    Alex gargled and jerked his head back. Then
he nearly sat up, knocking Robin's arm away.
    Anu screamed.
    Alex thrashed his arms and legs.
    Tucker cursed, and yanked Robin out of the
way. Robin started to push back, but in that minute, Alex lay back
down and seemed to conk out again.
    We all froze, watching him. My heart rate
slowly settled as Alex remained still. Robin lifted his glass of
orange juice again, but Mireille grabbed his arm. I could see her
fingers denting his flesh.
    Slowly, Robin lowered his arm.
    Mireille said, "Don't you dare. You must
have choked him. Just leave him the fuck alone."
    Robin shook off her grip and clanked the
glass on the coffee table. "There's no need to swear."
    We all burst out laughing.
    Robin looked slightly annoyed, but he didn't
pull out the o.j. again.
    Mireille said, "I heard you guys. Don't
worry about bringing Alex to St. Joe's. He can sleep it off
here."
    Robin made a face. She
turned on him. "Look. Kurt died today. Alex is going to be fine in a few hours.
If you're so worried, Robin, you can stay with him tonight. But we
should be talking about Kurt, not Alex. That's the least we owe
him, on the day he died." Her voice broke on the last word, but her
green eyes were steely and dry as she stared at each of us in the
eye.
    Tucker said, "Okay." His voice was calm.
"Let's talk about Kurt. Who wants to start?"
    Mireille pointed a finger at me. "I want to
know what happened."
    "No one knows what happened yet. But I'll
tell you what I saw." I described finding him in the men's change
room, the aborted code, the screaming girlfriend, the police
officer. My throat tightened. This wasn't just a guy who had spoken
to me at orientation. He was a man, a mentor, a teacher, a doctor.
What a loss. But I described the scene as best I could. Some people
need to see the body, to believe that the person is dead. My
description was the best substitute for tonight.
    Mireille pressed her hand to her forehead,
but she leaned forward, intent on every word. When I fell silent,
she said flatly, "He knew how to use his insulin. He did not
overdose on it."
    Tucker tried to touch her shoulder, but she
twitched away. "I know this, Tucker." She glared at me. Her hands
clenched into fists. "No. It was something else. It's bad enough
that he's dead. I don't want anyone to blacken his name."
    Tori said, "No one is accusing him of
anything. We all loved him, Mireille."
    "Did you?" Mireille said. "What did you love
about him, Tori? I would very much like to hear it."
    Tori met her gaze levelly. "I respected him.
He was a good teacher. He cared. He had a sense of humor."
    Tucker took a step forward. "Remember how
he'd swing his briefcase down on the conference table and say,
'What have you got for me today, kids?'"
    Anu and Tori laughed, Mireille loosened her
arctic look. Tucker grinned, encouraged. "He made me laugh every
single time I reviewed a case with him. No one else could do that.
Lots of docs want to show off and make you feel stupid."
    I silently remembered Dr. Callendar from
this morning.
    "Kurt was never like that. If I didn't know,
he'd say, 'Look it up and tell me about it next time.' He respected
us, even though we were just medical students. He encouraged us to
go into family medicine. He really was a mentor."
    "Evidence-based," murmured Robin.
    We all ignored him.
    Thinking of Alex, I said, "I heard that Kurt
was good at listening to people."
    Anu nodded. "I remember, on my first day at
the FMC, he said, if you have any problems, talk to me. I'm always
here for you."
    "So did Bob Clarkson," Tucker noted.
    Everyone except me laughed. Bob Clarkson.
The putative head of the FMC. I raised an eyebrow at Tucker. "Did
anyone talk to Bob?"
    Mireille rolled her eyes.
    Tucker blew his breath out through his nose.
"No one in his right mind would talk to Bob about anything
important."
    "Why? Is he a dink?"
    They laughed again.