Free Holly Lane by Toni Blake Page B

proud of the way it ended. Because . . .” He shook his head and felt it all rumbling through him the same way it had been for the past three years. “I thought I was that guy you and everyone else sees—that all around good guy. I thought I was a man who would do what it took to hold my marriage together and give my sons a good, normal family life. But turns out I wasn’t that guy after all.” Hell. He hadn’t exactly meant to blurt all that out, but there it was.
    And it surprised him now to see Sue Ann looking . . . completely critical. Critical a minute ago he would have understood—but not after what he’d just said. “What?” he asked.
    “Listen, I’m not condoning what you did,” she said pointedly, “but it doesn’t sound like you should have held your marriage together.”
    Okay, he got her point, but, “Who can say? Things might’ve gotten better. Maybe we’d have worked through the problems, pulled it back together somehow.”
    Yet her gloomy expression said she wasn’t even remotely convinced. “You just told me you didn’t love her anymore. And once that’s gone, what’s the point?”
    He narrowed his gaze on her, somehow seeing yet another new side of her—a smart side, a practical side, but also . . . a woman who still believed in love, even now. “You sound pretty damn wise for somebody who’s still going through this.”
    “They’re two different situations,” she said, shaking her head. “Sounds like you both fell out of love. Whereas, for me, only one of us did.”
    Aw God. He felt her pain deep then, even deeper than usual. “You still love him?” he whispered.
    But to his surprise, she looked like she had to think it over, like maybe the answer wasn’t as cut and dried as he expected. “At first,” she said, “I just couldn’t understand how he couldn’t love me anymore, how he could do this to us, and to Sophie. But over time, as I see how he’s behaving, I’m realizing he’s no longer the same man I fell in love with all those years ago. Every time I hear about him showing up someplace with Ronni, laughing and glad-handing people, without giving a crap how it makes me or his daughter feel, it’s made me love him a little less. And after tonight’s news, well . . . even more so.”
    “Well, between you and me, you’re too good for him now.”
    She bit her lip, met his gaze. “You really think that?”
    “I think he’s a bonehead.”
    Sue Ann looked tired to him, and a little sad, but still pretty as hell. And the sorrow in her eyes now—he knew that was about Jeff and the things she’d just told him, but he also wondered if it was bigger than that, if she was deciding that all men were dogs if even Mr. All American good guy could cheat on his wife. A minute ago, he’d thought it was a victory if she still believed in love—but maybe there were times in life when it would be easier not to.
    Then he glanced down to the space between their bodies; it was strange—after this talk, he couldn’t decide if he felt closer to Sue Ann or further apart. She seemed understanding in a way; but on the other hand, he knew good and well how she had to feel about men who strayed, and he’d noticed she wasn’t exactly snuggling up against him anymore.
    It left an inevitable question in the air. “So do you think I’m an ass now?”
    Like the last question he’d asked her, she seemed to consider her answer carefully before replying. “Overall, you’re still probably one of the best people I know. And making out is less of a crime than sex. But . . . ”
    He sucked in his breath, his chest going hollow. “But?”
    Instead of answering, she simply sighed, letting her eyes drop from his face to his chest. “Well, I guess I’m just sensitive about that sort of thing right now. But for what it’s worth, this kind of answers my original question. I get it now.”
    “Get what?”
    She felt his pointed glance. “What you’re really upset about. Sort of,