Free Alone by Marissa Farrar

thought she heard him speak
to her, telling her stories of long ago, of times loved and lost.
She imagined he told her he was hundreds of years old and shied
from the light, but knew she was dreaming then.
    When she woke the next morning, lying
fully clothed beneath the sheets of her bed, he was
gone.
     
    After a quick shower and change of clothes,
Serenity went to pick up Jackson. He sat on the edge of the bed
reading a newspaper. Her heart sank at the sight, but she’d been
lucky to have two whole nights without him. The blissful world in
which she’d been living didn’t really exist. She held no illusions
about her life and was ready to crash back down to
earth.
    The doctors quickly signed Jackson out.
Serenity wondered if, unable to take his frustration out on her,
he’d been giving the nurses a hard time.
    In the cab on the ride home, Serenity
sat beside her husband, sick with sorrow. It felt wrong being in
the same space as Jackson when she only wanted to be with
Sebastian, but she was horribly scared and she didn’t possess the
courage to leave.
    Her eyes burned hot and dry, a lake of
tears flowing behind them.
    As they approached the duplex, Serenity
saw she’d left the bedroom window open. Immediately, her heart
raced. Was Sebastian there now, waiting for her? What would Jackson
say? Even if he wasn’t, would Jackson realize another man had been
in their bedroom? Would he sense, or smell, Sebastian on the
air?
    Her cheeks flushed with guilt. At the
front door, her hands shook and she missed the lock. Jackson gave
her a quizzical look and took the key from her. He opened the door,
pushing the morning’s mail aside with his foot.
    Serenity stepped into the house and
pushed the door shut behind her. She bent to pick up the mail and
threw the letters onto the small pile accumulating on the hall
table.
    “ Make me some juice,” Jackson
ordered, “and a sandwich or something.”
    “ Okay, honey. I won’t be a
minute.”
    “ Bring it up to me in bed.
I’m going to lie down.”
    Why was she so powerless with him? However
much she wanted to tell him to get it himself, the Stepford wife
answer tripped from her lips; like he’d programmed her to do
whatever he wanted.
    That’s what years of beatings
and mental torture does to you, the little voice in her head told her.
Serenity wished she could figure out a way to break her
training.
    You have to leave him, she told herself
once again.
    Before meeting Sebastian, she
hadn’t realized how terrible her relationship was. The beatings and the
verbal abuse had become commonplace and Serenity hadn’t been able
to imagine a relationship without the violence. She’d almost come
to think the way he treated her was the norm. If she ever left
Jackson and ended up with someone else the relationship would be
the same. Sebastian had opened her eyes and made Serenity realize
someone could care about her without exerting physical force. She
had to leave, she just didn’t know how or when to go.
    Jackson spent the rest of the day ordering
Serenity around and taking naps. As the day wore on, her resolve
dwindled. She was crazy to think of leaving him. Nevertheless, she
kept running through the possibility in her mind.
    They had at least three thousand dollars
in their joint account, maybe even a little more. Any other money
they had saved, which wasn’t a lot, had been invested in shares,
and she wouldn’t be able to touch the money without Jackson’s
signature.
    You could always forge his
signature? the little voice piped up.
    There were too many risks. What if the
stockbrokers called Jackson to do extra security checks? Then he
would figure out her escape plan and he would make her pay. The
thought of him finding out made her sick to her stomach. He’d be so
furious, he would kill her.
    What about their joint account? Three
thousand dollars wasn’t a huge amount of money, but was enough to
get her started somewhere a long way from Jackson. If she went into
the bank and