Free Nothing Changes Until You Do: A Guide to Self-Compassion and Getting Out of Your Own Way by Mike Robbins Page A

“professional.” These business cards were designed to be an “act as if it’s already happening” type of thing for me. Since I didn’t think I would know anyone at this workshop, I decided to pass out my cards and introduce myself as a motivational speaker—just to see how it felt.
    The workshop went well, I learned a lot, and I met a number of great people including a woman named Christine, who worked for Sutter Health, a pretty big health care company with dozens of hospitals and medical centers throughout Northern California. Her job was in training and development, and part of what she did was bring in outside speakers and trainers to work with their employees. Christine and I hit it off and we exchanged business cards. She seemed like she’d be a good contact to have; I decided I’d reach out to her once I got my speaking business off the ground. The day after the workshop, I sent her a quick note to say how nice it was to meet her. I figured I’d circle back around with her in six months or a year.
    Less than two weeks later, I got a frantic phone call from Christine. “Hey, Mike, it’s Christine,” she said, in a rushed manner. “Oh good, I’m so glad I caught you live on the phone,” she continued. “I just got a call from the CEO at one of our large hospitals, Sutter Medical Center in Sacramento. He’s all freaked out because he has a day-long management meeting next Wednesday, and his speaker just canceled. I told him, don’t worry, I’ve got a great guy!” Christine then said, “So here’s the deal: I gave him your number and he’s going to call you in like twenty minutes, okay? Now, do me a favor and don’t tell him that I’ve never seen you speak, because I told him you were awesome .”
    “Wow, Christine, thanks!” I said, not knowing exactly how to respond. I felt simultaneous joy and terror, not really sure which one came first—they were both there with lots of intensity. I wanted to say, Thank you, but I’m totally not ready for this and am worried I’ll screw it up , but I didn’t. I also wanted to come clean with her about my lack of experience, but I didn’t want to blow the opportunity. In the midst of my conflicting thoughts and feelings, I simply said nothing. Christine said, “I have to get back into the meeting I just stepped out of to call you. Let me know how it goes with the call—he’s a great guy, you’ll love him and he’ll love you.”
    We got off the phone, and the feelings of joy and terror continued, but the terror seemed to be taking over as the joy faded quickly. My biggest concern was that the CEO would ask a fairly basic and appropriate question like “Who else have you spoken for?” I didn’t think my response of “Skyline High and the Mill Valley Rotary Club” was going to impress him very much. I figured once he found out I had almost no experience, there’s no way he’d hire me, and not only would I miss out on this opportunity, I might damage my credibility and relationship with Christine. As I waited for the phone to ring, I made a commitment to myself that I was not going to lie to this man. But, if he didn’t ask, I wasn’t going to say anything.
    He called less than 20 minutes later, and he never asked about where I’d spoken. As it turned out, he was a big baseball fan, so he was quite impressed with my sports background. We talked about baseball and teamwork—and some of the connections between sports and leadership. At the end of the conversation, he invited me to come up to Sacramento to deliver a 90-minute speech on “the keys to creating a championship team” for the 200 people attending his day-long management meeting. And, he actually offered to pay me real money to do this. I was stunned but found the courage to say, “Yes, I look forward to meeting you and speaking to your group.” I got off the phone, let out an excited yell in my apartment, and then the feelings of terror hit me again, because, as you can