Free The Atonement Child by Francine Rivers Page A

worse if you—”
    “I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it, did I?”
    “Keep your voice down,” he said, his eyes flickering.
    “God forbid your reputation might be soiled.”
    “I didn’t say that!”
    “Didn’t you? Isn’t that what’s really worrying you?”
    “You’re not being fair.”
    “Fair? Has anything been fair? Is what I’m going through fair?” She glared at him through her tears. “I have a right to think about it. It’s my body, isn’t it? My life. We do live in a free country last I heard. I’m supposed to have a choice .” Jerking her wrist free, she slid from the booth.
    Crossing the restaurant quickly, she stepped past a couple entering and went out the door. It was still light outside, the days lengthening now that spring had arrived. Spring with all its promises.
    Broken promises.
    Broken dreams.
    She went into the Jewel-Osco supermarket half a block away, knowing Ethan wouldn’t look for her there. More likely, he would drive along the street heading back for NLC, thinking he could pick her up somewhere along the way. And he’d expect her to apologize for her emotional outburst.
    Well, she wouldn’t apologize.
    She didn’t want to talk to him anymore this evening. She had enough money in her purse that she could call a cab.
    Wandering aimlessly through the aisles of canned goods, produce, dairy products, and meats, she tried to think through her situation. Truth was, she wanted out of it. She didn’t want to be pregnant. She didn’t want to face the months ahead with people staring and asking questions. She didn’t want her life in upheaval. She didn’t want the pain and grief and shame and ultimate sorrow.
    What sort of thing was growing inside her? Should it be allowed to live, considering the way it had come into being? Rape. What sort of conception was that? Did it count? Her head ached thinking about it.
    “Can I help you find something, miss?”
    She glanced up and saw a man wearing a store work coat. Her face flooded with heat. He smiled slightly, a troubled look in his eyes. “Miss?”
    How long had she been wandering the aisles of the store? He probably thought she was a shoplifter. “No, I . . .” She shrugged. “Aspirin. Do you have any aspirin?”
    “Aisle 10-B, bottom shelf.”
    After making her small purchase, she went outside. There was a public telephone outside on the brick wall. She opened the book to the yellow pages and looked for a cab company. The line was busy. Resting her forehead against the cold steel, she fought the prick of tears. The last person she wanted to call was Ethan. She didn’t want to go through it all again. She didn’t want to look across a booth and see his revulsion and hear how ashamed he was of what she’d let happen. As if she’d had a choice. She punched her own number and prayed.
    “Janet, if you’re there, please pick up.”
    “I’m here. What’s up?”
    “I need a ride, Jan. Can you pick me up?”
    “Where are you?”
    “At Jewel-Osco. On the corner of Talbot and Sixteenth.”
    “Give me fifteen minutes.” The telephone clicked.
    Dynah sat on the bench out front. A moment later, an elderly lady in a nice dress sat next to her, a wire pull cart with a bag of groceries sitting in front of her. She smiled and then folded her hands in her lap and sat waiting in silence. The old lady reminded Dynah painfully of elegant Mrs. Packard and made her wonder how Mr. Packard was doing. It would be nice to go visit the old gentleman, but if she did, he would ask where she had been and why she had quit her job. And what could she tell him?
    Janet’s white Camaro pulled into the parking lot.
    “Ethan called a few minutes before you did,” she said as Dynah slid into the front seat. “He sounded pretty upset. He said you walked out on him at a restaurant and he didn’t know where you were.”
    “I suppose I should call him,” Dynah said. It wasn’t right to let him worry.
    “I already did,” Janet said, pulling out