Free Nutcase by Charlotte Hughes

choice, because I was tired of feeling stressed and desperate. “Mom, I need a favor,” I said. “I need to borrow your truck.”
    “Excuse me?”
    “I’m moving to another office. I mostly need to move books and supplies and a couple of filing cabinets.”
    “And you want to use my truck! Are you crazy? I’m the only one who drives that truck. Anyway, why are you moving? Have you not been paying your rent on time? If you had stayed with Jay he could have helped you budget your money better.”
    I listened to her go on. I was lucky that before my father died he had instilled a lot of good stuff in me. He had convinced me that I could do anything I set my mind to. He had taught me to believe in myself, and, despite my mother’s best attempts, she had never taken that from me. It wasn’t that she was cruel. It was simply her way.
    “I’m being evicted for blowing up my office,” I said, knowing I was only giving her more ammunition. For some reason I didn’t care.
    Silence on the other end.
    “Where are you moving to?” she finally asked.
    “I’m going to share office space with Thad Glazer.”
    “That pervert ex-boyfriend who used you?”
    “Yes, that’s the one.”
    “Oh brother. What does Jay think about that?”
    I hesitated but decided I had no choice but to be up front with her. “I haven’t told him.”
    Again, silence. It was rare that I could render my mother speechless. I’ll admit I was feeling proud of myself.
    “He is never going to take you back now,” she whispered.
    “I have to be out this Friday.”
    “That’s three days from now! Why did you wait until the last minute? What have you been doing all this time? Next thing you’ll tell me is that you haven’t even packed. No, don’t tell me. I already know.” She gave a long-suffering sigh.
    “On second thought, I should probably hire professional movers,” I said. “It’ll be quicker and a lot easier on everybody.” I held my breath and waited.
    “Don’t be ridiculous! There is no way I’m going to stand by and allow you to pay an exorbitant amount of money to hire movers when your aunt Trixie and I are perfectly capable of packing and moving your office. We’ll be there first thing in the morning with the boxes,” she said. “I’ll get your uncle and cousin to come in Friday morning to move the heavy stuff.”
    I felt a sense of dread. My cousin Lucien played in a band called the Dead Artists and had tattooed and pierced all his body parts. Although much younger than I was, he had never made a secret that he harbored incestuous thoughts. I shuddered to think about it.
    “Just leave everything to me,” my mother said.
    We disconnected and I leaned back in my chair. I had clearly manipulated her. Since I was not a manipulative person, I struggled with guilt for a few minutes. It was what my mother would have most wanted for me.
    I found Mona on the phone. I waited for her to finish the call. “The moving arrangements have been made,” I said proudly.
    “Well, that’s a relief.”
    “How about we go to lunch? My treat.”
    Mona looked surprised. “Sure. Where are we going?”
    “I don’t care as long as it’s close to the fire station. I feel like dropping by to say hi to Jay.”
    “That will take forever with the traffic.”
    I told her about the new probie with the large breasts. “The problem is she’s been there at least two weeks and Jay hasn’t mentioned her. I had to hear it from someone else.”
    “Does he usually discuss new people coming in?”
    “He often makes passing remarks. I suppose I should overlook it. They’re dealing with what looks to be a serial arsonist.”
    “That’s not good.” She looked thoughtful. “I wonder just how big those breasts are?”
    “There’s only one way to find out.”
    I quickly made my way into my office and grabbed my purse. I found Mona standing beside the door leading from the reception room, her own purse in hand. “Ready to roll?” she