Free Gothic Charm School by Jillian Venters Page A

became very wide, and she shrank back in her seat a little bit.
    â€œ My stepdad says Goths are scary,” confided the young lady.
    â€œHmmm. Really?” asked the Lady of the Manners. “Do you think I’m scary?”
    â€œNo. You’re really nice!” was the immediate response.
    â€œSee? Goths aren’t scary. Just like most people aren’t scary. Why does your stepdad say Goths are scary?”
    What followed was a recitation of all the stereotypes the Lady of the Manners had expected to hear. Goths look weird. They’re different, and being different is bad. They’re creepy, dangerous, violent. As the girl rattled off the ideas her stepfather had tried to indoctrinate her with, the Lady of the Manners purposefully didn’t get angry or upset and worked very hard at keeping her facial expression neutral. Once the girl was done with her litany of prejudices, she looked at the Lady of the Manners and made a skeptical face.
    â€œBut you’re really nice!” she repeated. “Why would my stepdad say stuff like that?”
    â€œMaybe because he doesn’t know any Goths?” the Lady of the Manners offered.
    â€œWell, that’s dumb. I’m going to tell him about you and how nice you are. Maybe he’ll stop being scared of Goths.”
    â€œThat would be nice.”
    And with that decided, the young girl went back to asking the Lady of the Manners for help solving some of the puzzles in the “young wizard” activity book with which she had been amusing herself.
    Filling children’s heads with vague fears of people you don’t know much about seems, in the Lady of the Manners’s opinion, to be a disservice. It’s a big world, full of strange and unexpected people and things. Just because you don’t know much about something (be it a foreign culture or a subculture) doesn’t make it wrongor bad, and teaching your children that sort of thinking can only limit them. Teaching children to be automatically suspicious of anyone who appears different can rob them of chances for understanding and growth. Kids shouldn’t assume everyone they meet will be friendly and harmless, but neither should they be afraid of people who dress or speak differently than they do.
    A few words for the Goths reading this section
    Yes, it’s annoying when you’re wandering along, minding your own business, and someone makes a big deal about her children being scared by you. Especially if it’s apparent that the children aren’t just being shy kids but have been indoctrinated with the notion that people who look different are to be regarded with fear and disdain. Unless you’re in a situation like the one the Lady of the Manners was in on the plane, there’s not a lot you can do about it. Other than, of course, being as polite as possible and not sneering, exaggerating your potentially scary nature, or getting into any sort of argument with the parent about her seemingly closed-minded worldview. No, just perhaps wave at the kidlings and go on with whatever it was you were doing before.
    What if my children run toward them shrieking with glee?
    Children, in the Lady of the Manners’s experience, are drawn to Goths like bees to flowers (or moths to moonflowers, as it were).This should come as no surprise, if you stop and think about it. Goths tend to be people of high visual contrast: all black and white with accents of vivid jewel tones (or pink, in the Lady of the Manners’s case). The same sort of visual principles on which most cartoons are, as a matter of fact. Most Goths look like they’re from another, more exciting world. So of course children are attracted to that.
    Does that mean you should let your children scamper up to the first Goth they see? Well, no. No more than you should let your children gleefully run toward anyone that you, and they, don’t know. But don’t assume that the eccentric-looking