Free Life on the Ramona Coaster by Ramona Singer Page A

cocktails. I’m annoyed by their seemingly codependent dynamic and I don’t even understand why. I try to tell myself to stop judging people I don’t even know. How can you jump to conclusions about Alex based on this one encounter? I ask myself. But I can’t help it. It bothers me when I perceive a woman is married to a man who doesn’t let her talk and directs her every move. Suddenly, I see the connection. Their relationship reminds me of my parents’ awful marriage, a one-sided partnership where the woman is completely dependent on the man. The way Alex and Simon interact with one another has hit a huge nerve. Right or wrong, it’s personal for me and I’m completely turned off. I do not like them.
    “Mario,” I say hastily, “we have to go.”
    On the way home, Mario and I discuss the encounter.
    “That was awkward,” I say, working myself up into a frenzy. “I can’t believe that Bravo would cast that woman. She has no personality. She’s completely nondescript. She’s boring.”
    Mario tries to calm me down. “Maybe it was just awkward because you ladies weren’t supposed to meet yet.”
    “I don’t care if we weren’t supposed to meet yet,” I snap. “It doesn’t change the fact that she doesn’t appear to be a strong, independent housewife like the rest of us.” I pause, roll my eyes, and inhale deeply, “This is going to be a long season.”
     
     
     
    L OOKING BACK , I now understand that comparing Alex and Simon’s marriage with my mother and father’s wasn’t fair or even rational. Who was I to judge this couple based on one brief encounter at a restaurant bar? For all I knew, Alex was just nervous or shy, or maybe Jill had told her stories that prevented her from warming up to me. It doesn’t really matter why she was so reserved; my reaction says more about me at that time than it does about Alex and Simon. At that point in my life, and sometimes even to this day, my unresolved issues often clouded my judgment and blurred my vision when it came to friendships, especially with my fellow Housewives. For the next seven seasons, my relationships with the women on the show, my reactions and behavior—good and bad—would play out on television before millions of viewers. Although it has been a long bumpy road, being on the show has been a tremendous learning experience and I have forged friendships that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
    While I was very excited to do the show, that first season was difficult for me because I had a lot of stress at home that no one knew about. Mario was very ill during the first months of filming. He was having issues with his business and it had worn him down to the point where it was seriously impacting his health. Meanwhile, I wanted the show to be successful, but I was worried that the other women Bravo had cast weren’t going to be entertaining enough. I didn’t know Bethenny or Alex very well, but what little I had seen of Alex seemed boring. I had known Jill for years, and at the time I saw her as a whiny, materialistic Long Islander. LuAnn was always very proper and neutral, like Switzerland. I felt like I needed to amp things up, so between what was going on in my personal life at home and my desire to have a successful show, I took things too far that season and wasn’t entirely myself.
    The way filming for the show works is that the producers will call me and ask, “What’s going on this week, Ramona?” I’ll tell them I’m having a dinner party, attending a fashion show, or having lunch with a friend and they’ll send a camera crew out to film. Everything we film is real; nothing is ever scripted. No one tells us what to say or what to do. I wanted my first appearance on the show to be something that would showcase me on my own, so I decided to have a cooking party with my friend Pamela Morgan of Flirting with Flavors. I remember Bravo encouraged me to have LuAnn stop by so that I would have another Housewife there, but it