Free Switching Lanes by Renea Porter Page B

take a drink of my beer. “How does winning today’s race feel?” I ask, changing the subject.
    “It felt great. Guess the new guy th ought he would get one up on me.” Layne smirks.
    “Obviously , he didn’t realize who he was racing against.”
    “Do you know the guy? ” Layne asks bluntly.
    “I do. H is name is Cole and he’s in one of my classes. But I swear I didn’t know he was coming onto the racing scene. I was shocked to see him there.”
    “But there is nothing going on between you two?”
    “What? God no. He is interested in Alexis, the girl you met at the race. Geez, Layne, what kind of girl do you think I am?” I huff. I storm off to his room, the only place I can go to feel safe and alone. I might have been a little more dramatic than the situation was.
    I sit heavily on the bed and sigh , frustrated with everything, my feelings for him, my eating disorder, and the death of my best friend I’m coming to terms with. People come and go in our lives every day and you wonder what the lesson is behind each one. Layne comes into the room, interrupting my thoughts.
    He closes the door behind him and leans against the door , facing me as I sit on his bed. We just look at each other for a long time before he says anything. “I didn’t mean anything by my comment earlier.” He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “I saw the three of you at the coffee shop the other week. I came to school to surprise you and give you a lift to your dorm. And I thought it looked like you were into him.” He huffs. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m even acting like this.”
    “What are you trying to say exactly, Layne?” I place my hands under my legs.
    “I don’t even know .” He comes over and sits next to me on the bed. “I feel like I need to make a trip to see Amber.”
    And there we have it. “You want company? I would like to visit with her, too. But I understand if you want to go alone.”
    “I’d appreciate if you came along. I was thinking of making it up there tomorrow, if we can get up e arly enough,” he says. “I just need closure. I need to move on. It’s been what six or seven months since she passed? I need to get out of this funk, and I miss her like hell. But I know, deep down she wouldn’t want this,” he says with pain in his eyes.
    “You’re right. She wouldn’t want that. She would want you to move on. I’ll be ready to go in the morning.”
    He kisses the side of my head, letting his lips linger on my temple. “Let’s get in bed, and we’ll leave early in the morning.”
    He moves to his side of the bed and pulls the sheets down . He undresses, leaving his boxers on. “Care if I grab one of your tees to sleep in?” I ask.
    “Go for it.”
    I rummage through his dresser and find a white tee shirt, and take it to the bathroom to change. I change and the shirt smells like him. I inhale it, taking in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. Still, even with his tee shirt on, I feel naked, but at least it’s long enough to cover the important parts. I move underneath the sheets quickly.
    “Layne?” I say, facing the door.
    “Yeah.”
    “Can you hold me tonight?”
    He moves and presses his chest into my back. He doesn’t say anything; he just holds me, wrapping his arm around my waist. No questions asked, he just does it.
     
    LAYNE
    I wrap my arms around Renee’s waist. My body is stiff against hers. Her skin is soft and I want to kiss every single inch of it. Even as much as I want to, I can’t. I almost told her how I really felt, but I held back. Something in her eyes said she wasn’t ready for that. When I do tell her, I want to go all in or nothing. I torment myself with the feelings I have. I have to see Amber one more time; I have to tell her goodbye, even if it kills me.
    Yet , somehow, my arms around Renee feels that is how it is supposed to be. This is how we should be. My heart picks up speed and I try to close my eyes to calm myself