Free Rule of Three by Megan McDonald

to get the part of princess? You or Alex?”
    “Yes. But what’s all this junk got to do with it?” I asked, tossing a pinecone, two sock balls, and a stuffed animal at Joey.
    “It’s a test. A princess test. To see who’s the princess. The one who can’t get a good night’s sleep is the real princess. That’s who’s going to get the part.”
    “Joey, you’re wack, you know that?” I stretched back out on my bed. This time it was smooth, not bumpy. No more pinecones.
    “If it makes you feel any better, I did it to Alex, too.”
    “Only a little better,” I said, taking aim at Joey with the stuffed chipmunk.

 
     
    THE WEIRD SISTERS
    Starring Alex
    (But not as a Weird Sister)
     
     
    Me : (Yawn. Stretch. Wakes to smell of pancakes on Saturday morning and comes downstairs.) Mmm! Pancakes!
    Stevie : Oh, so you’re speaking to me for a change. Or do you just love me for my pancakes?
    Me : Pancakes.
    Joey : How did you sleep, Alex?
    Me : Huh? Oh, great. Wonderful. Terrific. Like a princess! (Stevie coughs, and Joey spits a blueberry across the room.)
    Me : What? What’s wrong with that?
    Stevie : ( Can hardly keep from laughing.) Nothing.
    Joey : (Laughing.) Nothing.
    Me : (Taking a pancake and drizzling it with syrup.) Well, I don’t see what’s so hilarious about getting a decent night’s sleep.
    Joey : It’s just that . . . we thought you might . . . (Gets mad look from Stevie.) Never mind! (Cracks up some more.) It’s not like you had rocks under your mattress. Or marbles or pinecones or anything that would make it lumpy so you can’t sleep.
    Stevie : Joey!
    Me : No peas under my mattress. (Joey sprays the counter with spit from laughing again.) But Stevie, you look like you had some under yours.
    Stevie : Not me. I took them all out.
    Joey : (Mouths, “Shut up!” to Stevie and runs upstairs.)
    Stevie : Doesn’t matter. I still couldn’t sleep at all last night. I kept tossing and turning and waking up with dreams. I can’t quit thinking about the play.
    Joey : (Runs back into room, making funny faces at Stevie. Holds out hand and makes tiny circle with finger and thumb.)
    Me : You guys sure are the Weird Sisters this morning. But who am I to guess at the strange minds of my little sisters?
    Joey : The Weird Sisters. That’s a good one.
    Stevie : No, it’s not, Joey. The Weird Sisters are the ugly hag witches from Macbeth.
    Joey : Look out. She’s going all Shakespeare on us again.
    Me : (Grinning, pleased with myself.) “ We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.”
    Stevie : You’re sure in a good mood this morning.
    Me : And why shouldn’t I be? Look out thy window, little sisters, and behold a world so lovely it bringeth a tear to mine eye.
    Stevie : It bringeth a gag to mine throat when you start making up Shakespeare.
    Joey : What’s so great about today? Besides Stevie’s pancakes, I mean. How come you’re not all stressed about who’s getting the part?
    Me : (I glance at Stevie. Stevie steals a look at me, then pretends to be concerned with pancake batter.) I just have a good feeling, that’s all. (Trying to sound casual.) Plus, today’s my first voice lesson.
    Stevie : (Drops mixing spoon, which splatters to floor in a goosh of pancake batter.) What? (Pronounces the “t” like she’s spitting.)
    Me : You don’t have to spit. I just wanted to work on my singing technique.
    Stevie : Technique? How come you need a technique? Can’t you just open your mouth and sing like the rest of the people on the planet?
    Me : I need to be ready for when I get the part. (Throws back head in glam pose, shaking hair.)
    Joey : Not again, you guys. (Holds hands over ears.) Don’t forget about Beth. Chapter forty. Little Women . You promised.
    Me : We didn’t promise.
    Stevie : Give me back my pancake.
    Me : (Stops mid-bite.) Are you crazy? I already ate half of it. What is wrong with you? (Stevie takes half pancake, and Alex grabs it back.)
    Dad