Free 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Taormino Page B

power behind it and it can feel like a more solid smack.
    It is important for you to learn how to flog someone properly before you incorporate it into a scene. I absolutely recommend that you go to a workshop on flogging or ask an experienced player to give you a personal tutorial. Local BDSM organizations and stores often sponsor workshops by some of the leading practitioners and teachers in the BDSM community. While you are still getting a grip, so to speak, on flogging, it’s a good idea to practice your aim, timing, and technique on an inanimate object like a pillow or a large stuffed animal.
    To use a flogger you want to hold the handle and aim the ends of the tails at your “target.” You can swing the flogger over your shoulder, then forward to the person’s body, or you can swing it sideways (some people refer to the swing
as “throwing” the flogger). Start gently and work your way up to more intensity. Like anything else new, it takes lots of practice before you can master it. When I started flogging bottoms, I often put a towel around their necks to protect them from my novice aim which often went off course. It’s crucial that a flogging be well-paced, with plenty of warm-up, building up to more and more intensity. Just like spanking and slapping, you should only flog the fleshy parts of the body, like butt cheeks, thighs, and the upper back; always avoid joints, organs, and bones, including the spine, the lower back (because of the kidneys), knees, shins, ankles, elbows, shoulder blades, stomach, head, neck, and face. You can flog the genitals but use a short, gentle flogger and start out very slowly.

Canes
    In the kink world, a cane is not a long hooked stick that people walk with, but an old-fashioned, long, thin rod, often thought of as an English disciplinary tool. Canes can be made of rattan, acrylic, hard plastic, and other materials. Don’t be fooled by their thin, seemingly innocuous appearance; canes can be one of the meanest toys in a dominant’s arsenal. These tools may look innocent, but canes can actually really hurt, very easily mark the skin, and even draw blood.
    Like spanking, you should only hit someone with a cane on fleshy parts of the body—usually the butt cheeks and thighs—and avoid the kidneys, bones, and joints. You do not need a lot of strength to wield a cane, and a few strokes can leave some nasty marks. The firm stroke of a cane creates a very different sensation than paddles, hands, or floggers: it is a sharp, biting, burning sensation
that spreads from the site of the smack and beyond. Canes are not for the faint-hearted and are definitely an acquired taste.

Chapter 11
    Rough Sex
    â€œI adore face slapping and hair pulling (as long as they are done properly), and spitting on my pussy or ass as part of my sex play. Throw me down on the bed, or shove me against a wall, and I melt.”
    â€”Kylie
    Â 
    A pink handprint on a pale ass cheek. A fistful of hair. A string of gooey spit dripping down your chin. Nails dragged across flesh. A slap across the face. An order barked with cool confidence. A guttural groan or a high-pitched squeal. These are some of the sights and sounds of rough sex. Although it is obviously intensely physical, there are also strong psychological elements in rough sex. Rough sex tops get turned on by taking control of a partner’s body, using physical force, and breaking taboos. Bottoms like to explore feelings of being scared, overwhelmed, and out of control.
    In my work as a sex educator, I’ve talked to thousands of people over the years, and some are big fans of playing rough but don’t associate it with kink at all. It doesn’t really matter what you call it. Rough sex is another kind of dominant/submissive role play where you can explore power, control, and surrender, and use intense physicality to push limits and break taboos. Rough sex can include BDSM activities like spanking,