Free Conquering Chaos by Catelynn Lowell, Tyler Baltierra Page A

sex at all. And by all means, tell them not to if that’s what you want to do! But
     we strongly suggest you also make sure they know it’s not an all or nothing decision.
     Abstinence might be the best choice, but if your teenager does end up choosing to
     have sex, as many, many teenagers do, we hope they know they don’t have to do it recklessly.
     Ultimately, those intimate decisions will be in their hands. We can only hope that
     they have all the knowledge they can possibly have to help them make the choice and
     handle it in the best way possible.
    Cate and I didn’t plan on pregnancy. And once it happened, the last thing we wanted
     to do was make this huge, painful decision. No teenager is prepared for that, and
     no mother or father is naturally inclined to consider a choice as drastic as full-time
     parenthood or adoption. For us, as naturally selfish teenagers, deciding to place
     our daughter for adoption would be (and still is) the hardest decision we have ever
     made. Nobody
wants
to go through the intense grief and loss that are involved in that process. No one
     wants to make such a giant sacrifice. But once you’re pregnant, it doesn’t matter
     what you want anymore. Carelessly following your own desires is what gets you into
     that situation in the first place! Once you’re pregnant, every decision you make has
     to be about that baby.
    No child is asked to be brought into this world and no child picks and chooses his
     or her parents. A child relies on its parents to provide the life they deserve. If
     you’re not sure you can provide that life, be safe and do what you can so that you
     never get stuck with such a dilemma in the first place!

CHAPTER 5:
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A BETTER LIFE FOR A CHILD
    Making the decision was only the beginning. When we chose to place our child for adoption,
     we knew we were in for an emotional journey. What else could it be? Make no mistake:
     We wished more than anything in the world that we could parent this baby. We dreamed
     about it day in and day out. But at the end of every dream was the harsh realization
     that we couldn’t give her what we wanted to give her. There was absolutely nothing
     we could do to guarantee this baby the safe and happy home that we desperately wanted
     to provide.
    That was an emotional battle we had to face. But what we didn’t know was that some
     of the people we counted on would turn against us. See, not everyone was proud of
     us for making this choice. And the ones who disagreed went to unbelievable lengths
     to undermine our decision, challenge our courage, and sabotage our plans. From the
     first call to the adoption counselor all the way to the delivery room, we had to charge
     head-on through every layer of dysfunction in our homes, our families, and our lives.
    Each of us had a parent who supported our decision. And each of us had a parent who
     could not have been more adamantly against it. Unfortunately for us, the ones who
     stood against us were completely united with each other. Because right before we found
     out about the pregnancy, our own respective dysfunctional parents decided they were
     in love with each other.
    We were in for a hell of a rough ride.
Two Houses United, Two Families Divided
    Tyler:
    Never in a million years did I expect my father to start dating my girlfriend’s mom.
    Catelynn:
    I saw it coming a mile away. As soon as Tyler’s dad got out of prison the second time,
     as soon as I met him, I thought, “Oh, no. He is exactly my mom’s type.” I tried to
     tell Tyler there would be trouble if they ever came across each other. I said, “Tyler,
     we cannot let them meet.” Tyler didn’t get it. He thought I was crazy.
    Tyler:
    I really didn’t sense the danger of them getting together. All I could think was,
     “I’m pretty sure your mom can resist an ex-con straight out of prison. Why would she
     jump for a guy like that?” But Catelynn would just shake her head and say, “I’m telling
     you,