Free Conquering Chaos by Catelynn Lowell, Tyler Baltierra

choose
     adoption, if this is the right choice, I need peace in this decision. I need a sign.”
     I talked to God in my bedroom for about an hour until I fell asleep. And you know
     what? The next morning in the car on my way to school, adoption commercials started
     coming on the radio. When I got to class and started on vocabulary, I saw the words
     “adoption” and “birth parents.”
    I was like, well, thank you. There’s my sign. That was all I needed. And that was
     the moment on I made peace with my decision. I thought, “That’s it. I’m gonna do this,
     and I don’t care who the hell tries to get in my way.”
    Tyler:
    I know it was hard for Cate as the mother. She’s always had a strong maternal instinct.
     Even her dad has told me about how she always wanted to help animals and rescue baby
     birds. She was always very nurturing and she always dreamed of being a mom. But she
     set her own wants aside to provide this child with the best possible life. Once she
     told me, “I remember crying and thinking about being a mom and going through all the
     struggles. And then I would stop crying and feel peace when I thought about Carly
     being adopted. And that’s how I knew that was what I wanted to do.”
    Less than one percent of women choose adoption for their babies. Ninety-nine percent
     of women who parent choose to get pregnant or have an abortion. That’s why it’s so
     ironic and amazing that Catelynn chose adoption, because for someone who had dreamed
     about parenthood for so long and had such a strong maternal instinct, it was the ultimate
     sacrifice. She’s in that one percent of women who made that decision.
    Catelynn:
    My mom was dead set against adoption. People find that surprising sometimes, because
     she’d been willing to take me in for an abortion. I think she was able to think about
     abortion because it still feels so unreal early on in the pregnancy. But in her generation,
     adoption was a bad and scary thing. Nobody really knew about it. There was adoption
     within our family, where people would adopt their kids out to other relatives, but
     I wasn’t going to do that. In her mind I was going to give birth to her granddaughter
     and then send her away forever.
    Tyler:
    My dad was totally against the adoption, too. And as we’ll tell you, they combined
     forces to fight us all the way through. Not everyone approved. And we have had people
     tell us we took the easy way out. But whoever thinks placing your child for adoption
     is the easy way out...that’s just ignorant. If anything, having the child would have
     been the easy way out. That’s how it was done in our families, that’s what they wanted,
     and that’s what we knew. Or we could have had the abortion, that would have been the
     easy way out. For us, adoption was the highest expression of love we could offer.
    Tyler:
    It’s weird to look back on all of the crazy shit we did, to think about how this one
     thing could completely change us and our maturity and morality.
    Catelynn:
    Shoot, we acted crazy up until the day we found out. And then there was a child growing
     inside of me, and that just changed everything.
Closing Thoughts
    No teenagers should have to make the difficult decision we had to make. No adult should,
     either. But hey, teens, we’re talking to you in particular: Be smart! You can get
     condoms. There’s no reason to risk putting yourselves in the position we ended up
     in. The only positive pregnancy test you ever want to see is one you’re actively hoping
     and planning for. Be safe, use protection, or wait to have sex until you’re ready
     to do it responsibly. And if you’re not ready for sex at all? Don’t have it! You are
     in control of that decision. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise, and don’t ever
     let anyone convince you that it’s not worth it to take precautions against pregnancy.
    Parents, talk to your kids! We know you might not like to think of your kids having