Free Love Leaps: A Short Story by Karen Jerabek Page A

hallway
mirror on my way out of the house, I look like I'm headed to a
funeral. I'm in head-to-toe black with my darkest sunglasses on.
Maybe I should go change. Screw it, I tell myself. This is how I
feel and I don't have time to change anyways.
    I slide into my cubicle fifteen minutes late
but no one seems to care. Logging in at my computer, I start
shifting through some folders, trying to look busy like I've been
there since 8am. As soon as my computer loads, I open my email and
shoot off a message to Jessica, my best friend, giving her the
quick synopsis about Gray which I still can't seem to wrap my head
around.
    “I don't get it,” she writes. “This makes NO
sense. Maybe this is just a lapse of sanity and after the weekend,
he'll pull it together.”
    “Maybe,” I mutter under my breath. I just
wish I knew what he was talking about. The mystery continues.
    A few hours later, Roger waves and smiles as
he's walking by my cube. I glance up, smile back and keep on
typing. But then, I stop, swivel around in my chair and call out to
Roger to come back for a second.
    “Hey, are you heading to lunch?” I ask,
trying to be nonchalant.
    “Yeah, just to the deli across the street.
Do you want anything?” he asks with a smile.
    “I could use a break, do you mind if I tag
along?” I ask sweetly. Roger and I are friendly but we're more
acquaintances than lunch buddies.
    “Sure,” he says and shrugs, still smiling at
me.
    As I get in his car, I try to make polite
chitchat with him about his dog and his girlfriend and his weekend
plans. I just nod as he answers without paying much attention.
    “Okay, so I really need your help,” I say,
sounding a little more desperate than I had hoped.
    “Um, okay Em, what is it?” he asks, glancing
at me curiously.
    “So, my boyfriend, Gray, and I have been
dating almost a year and things were great or well, they were
pretty good but then last night he said he felt like he was living
someone else's life and that he needed space to figure it all out.
This makes no sense to me at all!” I say exasperated.
    “Of course it doesn't,” he chuckles. “You're
a girl.”
    “Okay, but what does it mean?” I ask.
    “Girls don't need space. They thrive in
relationships. But, men need some space here and there to get
things figured out,” he says.
    “Why?” I ask dumbfounded.
    “I don't know why,” he says. “That's just
how we're programmed, I guess.”
    “But, he's never needed space before,” I
pout. “Why now?”
    “My guess is that he's really stressed out
about something. And, he probably did need space before and either
didn't take it or only needed a day or two so you didn't really
notice it.”
    “So, what am I supposed to do?” I say,
feeling no more closer to understanding this need for space thing
than I did before.
    “Just leave him alone,” Roger says.
    “That's it, just leave him alone?”
    “Yep, he'll figure it out,” he says with a
level of confidence that I don't share.
    “What if he doesn't?” I ask quietly. This is
a question I haven't really allowed myself to think until right
now. As the words leave my mouth, I'm flooded with this stomach
turning sense of fear.
    “He probably will but if he doesn't, then
you'll just need to let him go,” he says practically.
    “And so what am I supposed to do in the
meantime?” I ask, starting to feel some anger bubble up inside of
me.
    “I don't know, hang out with your
girlfriends more, I guess,” he offers.
    “So you're basically saying that you think
he's normal, that he'll figure it out and that he'll come back to
me?” I toss at him.
    “No promises,” he says, trying to avoid any
future blame. “But yeah, I think that about sums it up.”
    “Alright,” I sigh. “Thanks for the male
insight.”
    “Sorry it isn't what you want to hear,” he
says and pats my shoulder. “Just give him some space and it will
all work out.”
    “Well, do you think he's trying to break up
with me and is just using