Free Love Leaps: A Short Story by Karen Jerabek Page B

this as an excuse?” I ask.
    “No, I don't think he'd be that selfish.
I've only met him a couple times at the office, but he seems like a
decent guy. Try not to worry about it,” he says with a shrug.
    “Thanks,” I say, realizing my shrink time
with him is up. We walk into the deli and order a couple sandwiches
to go, while I make some more mindless chitchat that is totally
irrelevant.
     
    The next several days go by in a blur. I
spend countless hours pouring over relationship advice articles.
I'm devouring everything on the web that is available yet nothing
seems to make me feel better. I'm trying to respect Gray's decision
to take some time for himself but it's killing me not to talk to
him. We used to text several times a day, see each other most
nights out of the week and when we didn't see each other, we were
on the phone to check in before we went to bed. Now, all of that
has been ripped away and I'm left with a gaping hole. I checking my
cell phone obsessively, hoping he'll have texted or called. He
hasn't. I try to remind myself of that fact before I check my phone
again for the hundredth time but I can't help it, I look anyways. I
want to call or at least text him to see how he's doing, but all
the self help articles beg me not to do that. They say that the
longer you chase after a man who needs space, the more time he'll
need before he's ready to come back to you. And so, I bite my nails
instead. It's a disgusting habit that I still haven't been able to
break as an adult. But, it's better than eating Ho Hos, I
reason.
    Jessica made me promise her that when I felt
the urge to call Gray, that I'd call her instead. She agrees with
the psycho babble that I'm reading about respecting a man's need
for space, especially if you want the relationship to continue. And
I do, I think.
    I say “I think” because while I've been
obsessively checking my phone, calling Jessica multiple times a day
and reading online articles incessantly, I've also developed quite
a bit of anger. I'm really pissed off and I'm not quite sure I want
a relationship with a man that will just take off with some vague
reason of needing space and no agenda or time limit in mind. I want
a man that will never walk away. After reading a couple hundred
articles on the subject, I'm beginning to wonder if that's even
possible to find. They keep insisting that all men need space and
that they all take it in their own ways. Women on the other hand
don't really need space, they need to talk about their feelings and
get reassurance. Of course, that actually makes sense to me. But,
running away and hiding, while you wait for an epiphany makes
absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. Men!
    I glance at my phone again, and it's blank,
as usual. I blink back some tears that well up in my eyes. My
emotions are ping ponging around. I go from being pissed off to
being sad to being hurt to being angry. It's all jumbled together
and I don't like how I'm feeling. It makes me feel neurotic and
totally out of control. And that makes me really mad.
    Just then, my cell phone comes to life and
pops up a message icon. I pull my text messages folder open and am
surprised by who's name is there. I was hoping it would be Gray,
but it's not. It's Sam. I haven't heard from him in months. All it
says is, “I was thinking about you, want to get a drink soon?” We
dated briefly, if you even want to call it that, right before Gray
and I met. Despite fireworks in the sexual chemistry department, it
didn't feel like it was going anywhere. So, when Gray came along, I
said goodbye to Sam and our casual fun and launched myself right
into a solid, happy relationship. Sam and I kept in touch briefly
for a couple months but as Gray and I got more serious, Sam faded
out of the picture. Somehow, I knew he wasn't gone for good but I
also wasn't sure when he'd pop back up. And with impeccable timing,
here he is.
    “Hey stranger,” I text back to him. “I know
it's last minute, but I could