Free Small Medium at Large by Joanne Levy

on your date?”
    He looked down at his plate and then back up at me. “What do you mean?”
    I cringed and looked down at my own plate, suddenly sorry I’d said anything. “Nothing.”
    â€œWhat is it?”
    I took a breath and looked at him. “Well… you kind of look like a pig when you eat.”
    He didn’t flinch when I said it, but he swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple moving up and down in his neck.
    â€œSorry.”
    He waved me off, pretending he didn’t care. “Don’t be. I guess it’s better I know, since I have another date this weekend.”
    I dropped my fork on my plate, causing a loud clatter. “
You do not!
”
    Finally, Dad was smiling. “It’s true.”
    â€œOh, Dad, that is awesome!” I jumped up out of my chair and ran around the table to give him a big hug.
    â€œUgh!” Dad protested when I squeezed too hard.
    â€œTell me
everything
.”
    â€œLet go of me, and I’ll tell you.”
    Retracting my arms, I returned to my seat, awaiting the details.
    Which oozed out of him like ketchup out of a glass bottle. It was totally maddening.
    â€œWell, her name is Sharon,” he said, then daintily scooped up a few noodles with his fork and deposited them in his mouth.
    â€œSharon what?”
    While I waited for him to continue, Dad chewed in a very slow and precise manner. Okay, maybe it would have been better if I’d heard about his date
before
I criticized his sloppy eating habits.
    Once every morsel of food was cleared from his mouth, he continued.
    â€œSharon Adler. You might have met her at the high holidays at temple. Her mother and your grandmother used to play bridge.”
    I fought a big smile, unwilling to arouse suspicion but knowing who was behind this setup. I had no idea how my dead grandmother had pulled it off, but I had no doubt she was behind it. “Oh, is her name Marjorie?”
    â€œYes, that’s right—Marjorie Adler. Good memory!” He took another few noodles and continued. “It was strange, she phoned me out of the blue at work today.”
    Out of the blue, as if.
    â€œReally? That’s weird. Did she say why?”
    He shook his head. “Not really. She just said she was recently divorced and had been thinking maybe we could get together.”
    I made a mental note to get the details from Bubby later.
    â€œAnyway, you’ll be very proud of me, Lilah. I asked her where she wanted to go and it turns out we both like Thai.”
    â€œI
am
proud of you, Dad.
Hugely
proud. And what are you going to wear?”
    He took a deep breath. “How about you take your old man shopping Friday night so we can find something nice? My shirt from the other night is ruined and it’s been a long time since I’ve bought new clothes.”
    â€œOf course I’ll take you shopping! We’ll get you some really hip clothes, maybe even some new threads for work.”
    Dad actually looked pleased. He dabbed at his mouth with his napkin, making a big show of his manners.
    I applauded and then glanced at the clock: 6:17.
    The note we’d left in Andrew Finkel’s locker had said to meet us at the Beanery Café at seven. And I still needed some hair and makeup time.
    â€œSorry, but I’ve gotta run.” Pushing my chair back from the table, I picked up my plate and put it in the sink. “Do you mind clearing tonight?”
    â€œIt’s the least I can do for my
stylist
,” he said, making me throw my arms around him again. He was a total nerd, but he was definitely a lovable nerd.
    â€œUgh. If you keep squeezing me like that, I’m going to throw up my dinner.”
    â€œSorry, I’m just feeling a bit enthusiastic about your dating.”
    â€œFunny, I’m feeling a bit
nauseated
about my dating.”
    â€œOh, don’t worry,” I said, finishing the last of my milk before putting the glass in the sink.