Free How to Twist a Dragon's Tale (Hiccup) by Cressida Cowell

GUYS?"
    All the Vikings jumped to their feet and sang their hearts out, with Stoick conducting the chorus, the Stone held like a Bashyball in one fat hand only: "RULE BARBARIANS, BARBARIANS RULE THE WAVES... VI-KINGS NEVER EVER EVER SHALL BE SLAVES..."
    Hiccup and Humungous had arrived at The Thing just after the second bugle had sounded, and Humungous was watching the proceedings with his mouth gently open.
    Here was a version of democracy that he had never even dreamed of.
    "OK," whispered Hiccup, "my father's minute is nearly up. I want you to go and hover near the plinth, Humungous, and get ready to touch-down the Stone ..."
    "Righty-ho," said Humungous, elegantly flexing his humungous biceps. This looked like his sort of game. Hiccup sidled up to Camicazi, who was cheering on the Bog-Burglars.
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    Camicazi was a friend of his, despite the fact that she belonged to another Tribe.
    "Camicazi, can you do me a favor, and sneak into the scrum and pinch the Stone for me next time they blow the bugle?" Hiccup asked.
    "But you're on a different side!" exclaimed Camicazi in surprise.
    "Oh, I'm not playing for the Hooligans," explained Hiccup. "I've formed my own Team."
    "Oh, OK then," said Camicazi excitedly. "Thank you for picking me!" She was a little fed up because her mother Big-Boobied Bertha always said that she was too small to play at The Thing.
    "I want you to nick that Stone, and then throw it to that big good-looking bloke over there." Hiccup pointed at Humungous. "Can you do it?"
    [Image: Camicazi getting ready to do a little BURGLARY.]
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    "Of course I can do it, " snorted Camicazi. "Us Bog-Burglars can burgle ANYTHING. You should try stealing the underpants off Madguts the Murderous; this is easy-peasy in comparison. Watch and learn, Hiccup my boy, watch and learn ..."
    And Camicazi skipped off merrily toward the scrum.
    The Hairy Scary Librarian blew the bugle, which was the signal that Stoick's one minute's talking was up.
    There was a great roar from the crowd as Stoick threw the Stone up into the air. A forest of arms came leaping up out of the scrum to catch it, and then the Stone disappeared again.
    [Image: Men and a woman.]
    Stoick waited, confidently, for Gobber the Belch to bring the Stone out for him so that he could speak
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    again. Gobber the Belch was the best Bashyball player in the Archipelago, so Stoick and the Hooligans tended to dominate the proceedings at The Thing.
    However, to Stoick's immense surprise, when the golden Fire-Stone eventually emerged from the knot of bodies in the scrum, it was in the arms of a tiny child with a great deal of long blond hair, who wriggled out through the legs of a burly Visithug, neatly eluded the tackle of a great lumbering Bashem-Oik, and threw a truly magnificent long pass to ...
    ... Humungously Hotshot, by the Armpits of Woden, what was he doing on the field, looking irritatingly Heroic and perfect as ever?
    Stoick thundered toward Humungous, trying to intercept the Stone.
    [Image: A man and a woman.]
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    I am afraid that Humungous couldn't resist the impulse to show off a little. He sidestepped Stoick, caught the Stone, juggled it from hand to hand while Stoick made clumsy grabs at it, twiddled it on the end of one finger tauntingly right in front of Stoick's nose, and then gracefully touched it down on the plinth.
    Who can blame Humungous for that very gentle tease?
    [Image: A man.]
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    "TOUCH-DOOOOOOOWN!!!!!!!!" roared the crowd. "NICE STONE SKILLS!"
    "NOT FAIR! WHOSE TEAM IS THIS GUY PLAYING FOR!?" bellowed Stoick the Vast.
    Humungously Hotshot handed the Fire-Stone to Hiccup.
    Hiccup cleared his throat awkwardly and stepped up to the plinth.
    This was going to be hard.
    "Um, he's playing for MY team. Sorry, Father.
    LISTEN TO ME, FOR I AM HOLDING THE
    [Image: A hero had to stay supper...]
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    STONE!" Hiccup called out. "The plague of Exterminators is going to be too strong for us to fight. I'd like to introduce you to Humungous the