Free Crushed by Dawn Rae Miller

want so badly to do, or stay put. 
    Someone gallops down the hallway, yelling unintelligible words. Calista bites her lip, and the tops of her breasts move up and down in rhythm with each of my deepening breaths. 
    “Maybe I should go?”
    Before I can beg her to stay, she sprints from the room.

11
     
      “Where are you going?” 
    “No where.” I rolled over onto my stomach and rubbed the side of my cheek into the pillow. 
    Through the window, harsh afternoon light beat down on us. We both smelled like chlorine, and Calista’s dark hair tickled my skin. We lay there in the pool house, listening to music and not talking. We breathed in rhythm, my chest falling when hers rose. My eyes closed, and I started to drift off but fought it. Even though our parents wouldn’t care, I didn’t want to risk them finding us like this.
    My eyes flicked open. Calista’s bathing suit lay thrown across the back of a chair. “You should probably put that back on.”
    She rested her chin on my shoulder, her face centimeters from mine. “Not yet.”
    “Cal, please. I don’t want to get in trouble.”
    She gave me a lazy smile and sucked on the tips of my fingers. “I like trouble.”
    I closed my eyes again, enjoying the feel of her body against mine. Calista moved her lips lower to my stomach. And even lower.
    “I don’t want to go back to school. I want to stay like this forever,” she murmured between kisses. 
    I moaned and pulled her up toward me. My fingers traced the outline of her nipple, and I tried touching my lips to hers. 
    She laughed.
    “I love you,” I said, completely, one-hundred percent convinced. 
    She froze and pulled away. “Don’t ever say that again. I’m not your girlfriend, and I don’t want to be.”
     
    ***
     
    The knots in my stomach steal the air from my lungs. How could I let it happen again? I slump against my bedroom door, my mind a mess of confusion, blending now with then.
    I need to run. That always clears my mind.
    My t-shirt and shorts are in the dresser, and I force myself up. I dress quickly and find my running shoes at the back of my closet. I yank on the laces, pulling them tighter than normal. 
    Cool, night air washes over me, beckoning me. I don’t care where I go; I just can’t stay here, alone. 
    I let my feet guide me. First, over the paved sidewalks leading between the upper campus dorms and then into the towering redwoods which surround Harker. 
    I run farther, until I’ve been consumed by the forest and darkness. The trees block the moonlight, and I’m running blind, relying solely on my sense of memory. I focus on the course, my feet striking the dirt path, one foot in front of the other. The steady beat clears my mind. 
    Run, Fletch. Don’t think. Don’t think about how you love her. Don’t think about how she messes with your mind. Just run.
    The lace of my shoe raps against my shin, but I don’t stop to tie it. I let it lash me, and welcome the sting of hard plastic on my bare skin.
    Breathe, Fletch. Breathe. 
    But the air is thin, and my lungs can’t hold it. I gasp and double over. 
    Why is this so hard? Why do I care so much? 
    I’m not supposed to care. Not about Calista. Not about feelings. 
    I’m Fletch Colson, star student, man-whore, and occasional pothead.
    That’s how my friends see me. 
    Senior year is supposed to be fun, the culmination of four years of careful planning and nurturing my reputation. 
    Instead, I’m standing alone in a forest, trying to breathe, and my senior year hinges on a bet to be friends with a girl. 
    All because I told Cal I loved her, and she wasn’t interested.
    She pushed me away and refused to talk to me for days. And when we finally saw each other, the first day of school, she pretended like everything was normal. It wasn’t. 
    It isn’t.
    The lonely hoot of an owl startles me. I lean against the rough bark of the nearest tree and listen to the forest moan. There are a thousand sounds here, but