Free The Da-Da-De-Da-Da Code by Robert Rankin Page A

manner of noxious fumes and gases, and by the careful manipulation of its keyboard, a kind of magnetic flux or ray could be projected through solid objects like walls and suchlike into the head of their intended victim. And then his thoughts could be manipulated.’
    ‘And this was in the seventeen nineties?’ said Jonny.
    ‘Apparently so. The first documented case of a mental patient who was convinced that his thoughts were being tampered with by an “Influencing Machine”. They threw him into Saint Mary of Bethlehem Hospital, the original Bedlam. He was in there for twelve years. Lucid for most of the time, but, as with most mental institutions, if you’re not mad when you go in, you’ll be mad by the time they let you out. If they ever let you out.’
    ‘What about your brother?’ said Jonny.
    ‘He’s in the Special Wing at the Cottage Hospital,’ said Ranger Hawtrey. ‘And I’ll tell you this: if I ever meet that loon who did for Doctor Archy, I’ll shake him by the hand. That doctor treated my brother very badly.’
    What a very small world it is
, thought Jonny. ‘But tell me more about this Air Loom,’ he said. ‘I’m fascinated by this. It’s at least a hundred years before its time. You can almost picture someone actually building something like that in the late Victorian era, but the seventeen nineties, no way to that.’
    Ranger Hawtrey shrugged. ‘And so I have tinfoil inside my cap just to be on the safe side. Perhaps there was an Air Loom, perhaps the CIA and the British Secret Service have modern-day equivalents. I just don’t know. I’d like to believe that my brother isn’t mad, but then wouldn’t anyone?’
    Jonny Hooker nodded. ‘Actually I have heard of Count Otto Black,’ he said. ‘He’s some kind of unkillable supervillain who turns up again and again century after century. Or so I read somewhere. But I appreciate your candour, confiding all this to me, a total stranger.’
    ‘I trust you,’ said Ranger Hawtrey. ‘Which is to say that I told you because I knew you wouldn’t laugh.’
    ‘You did? How did you know
that
?’
    ‘I just did.’ Roger Hawtrey stuck his hand out to Jonny. ‘Shake?’ he said.
    ‘Shake,’ said Jonny, and he shook the ranger’s hand.
    ‘And thank you for killing Doctor Archy,’ said Ranger Hawtrey.
    ‘
What?
’ went Jonny, and he fell back in horror.
    ‘I won’t turn you in.’
    ‘You recognised me?’
    ‘Not you. Well, not at once. It was the uniform I recognised. You’re wearing
my
old uniform. I figured that you’d found the key under the flowerpot, gone into the hut, found the uniform, then we turned up, so you concocted the story about being at college.’
    ‘So you knew all along,’ said Jonny.
    ‘And I know that you’re not a dangerous madman.
Did
you kill Doctor Archy, by the way?’
    ‘No,’ said Jonny, ‘I didn’t. I punched him and escaped throughthe window of his office, but I certainly didn’t hit him hard enough to kill him.’
    ‘I thought not.’
    ‘What do you mean, you thought not? When did you think not?’
    ‘When I saw your face come up on the television. You see, I saw the drowning child, too.’
    ‘You did?’ said Jonny. ‘You did?’
    ‘I saw it. It was there and then it wasn’t. They did drag the pond to make sure, but there was no body. But I did see the child.’
    ‘Then perhaps you’re as mad as I am.’
    ‘
I’m not
mad,’ said Ranger Hawtrey. ‘And nor, I suspect, are you.’
    ‘Ah,’ said Jonny. ‘Well, we’d probably best not go into that in any detail. But you’re not going to turn me in?’
    ‘Certainly not. You’re the most exciting thing that’s happened in this park since I’ve been working here.’
    ‘Thanks a lot,’ said Jonny. ‘But what about your boss?’
    ‘Ranger Connor wouldn’t recognise his own face in a mirror. And I reckon he’s going to get sacked pretty soon. He’s a bit too free with his fists. Always looking for an excuse to employ his