Free The Body Language Rules by Judi James Page B

as you do so .

    I If your hands get sweaty, carry some freshen-up wipes to cool

    them before you go into a meeting . 80 T he B O Dy LA ng U A ge R U Le S

    I never douse your hands or face with cold water in a bid to

    cool down . The effects will only be transitory as your

    body will overheat as a result in a bid to balance the

    sudden temperature change .

    I Try cosmetics for blushing or a nervous rash . The ones

    most commonly available are either a green-tinted

    moisturizer (both men and women can use this) or

    a green-tinted foundation or face powder . (Guys

    might decide to skip these two options .) They

    don't show as green on the skin, as the green tone

    just negates the redness of the face or neck .

    I There are also several products available to remove sweat

    sheen from the face . They're also sited on the cosmetic

    counters but are unisex . They're either fluids or

    lotions that create a matte finish to the skin .

    I hopefully I don't need to advise the use of antiperspirant

    deodorants, but just in case there's someone who has slipped

    through the net... they will help prevent the curse of the sweat

    rings under the armpits .

    PeRFORmeD SIgnALS These will be the signals that your body produces to get what you feel are your best results from any transaction . Unlike your physiological signals, they will be conscious or at least semiconscious and help define what you feel to be your "ideal" image state . g e S T U Re S 81

    LeAkAge SIgnALS These are all those fiddles, twiddles, twitches, rituals, and other unbidden signals that appear to be your body's way of letting your true feelings be known without your permission . They are the honest brokers of the body language world but they are also a total pain, as they are usually responsible for letting truths you'd rather keep suppressed out for all to see .

    mIcRO-geSTUReS These are the subtlest of all body language signals and will almost without exception be part of your body language leakage . The good news is that they are so tiny and fleeting that they are often invisible to the naked eye . The bad news is that they can work as subliminal communicators, meaning your audience might not know you did it but they got the message nevertheless .

    cOmPLIAnT SIgnALS Society depends on compliance . If nobody backed down we'd be extinct within months . Our network of complex dominance and compliance signals is in use on a virtually permanent basis, as each transaction we do relies on a harmonious balancing act for it to be successful .

    When the balancing act tips, even slightly, our response is far bigger than the event itself . 82 T he B O Dy LA ng U A ge R U Le S

    When you go into a shop to buy goods, you expect to be dominant in that transaction . As the customer you will have the expectation of a degree of compliance from the person who serves you . In fact the word "serve" gives a huge clue to the nature of the power balance in this situation .

    Most shop workers are trained to be compliant, some more than others . Some shops have what they call a "can- do" culture, training their staff to bend over backward for the customer . Others are less submissive but the balance is always pretty much in favor of the customer .

    To signal this compliance the "server" is expected to smile more as they offer help . But this isn't always the case . Some shop staff excel at raising their own status via body language or behavior techniques, some of which are so subtle the customer has no idea how they happened or what they did, only that they felt insulted and crushed by what's often called "attitude ."

    In a social group scenario, compliance will be vital for group polarization . All social groups consist of dominant and compliant roles that can be fixed or transitory . We're all affected by what's called the normative influence--that is, a desire to be liked and accepted . The easiest way to be liked is to be submissive and compliant . Often mistakenly we